btwn 2 friends...
"i am so angry and so heartbroken. and i'm so MAD. and i'm angry at God for letting it happen. and guilty for being mad at God. but i still want to bitch-slap God. and i'm pretty sure that consititutes blasphemey and being damned to hell for eternity"
4.30.2008
4.22.2008
weights & wanton women...err woman
working out makes me horny.
i REALLY have no idea why this is...
if its the exhausted, satisfied feeling i get when i'm done working out
the hot sweaty men
the sweaty sheen and smell
the way my muscles burn as endurance levels are pushed
the hot muscular men
the endorphins released
the hot strong men
obviously the hot men could be a big factor in why i pay the big corporate gym a chunk of change every month. i could kid myself and tell me its because it rains and i cant always run outside, or that i need strength training. but why kid a kidder.... i like the better view from my elliptical machine of the hot shirtless men rather than than the neighborhood park where the view consists of dads running with jogging strollers or old women who think they can pull off sports bras and spandex in broad daylight.
speaking of the gym, i see alot of guys i'd be interested in meeting. but i have no idea what to say to them... or even if i want to be that girl. see i've never been the girl that asks guys out. i have no issue with feminine wiles and flirting or batting my baby blues.... but i'm old-fashioned and southern. And asking for a date and proposing are 2 things that should always be taken care of by the GUY!
but i definitely wouldn't shoo a guy away if they came up to me in the gym- even just to meet me and get to know new ppl. I guess in my logic, a gym is less frightening because its a public place with lots of people around, everyone's in casual clothes, and there's music blaring. While sweat dripping down my face or worries over stray hairs/sweat stains do occasionally grip my paranoid mind... it seems easier to approach a someone in a gym than in other high-pressure cliche situations (bars!).
So if there are any guys reading - (a) take some advice, and try and at least tell your gym crush hello, and (b) tell me what to do to get MY gym crushes to talk to me (while NOT acting like a creeper/stalker).
till next time, please frequent your local gym and help make the world a prettier, healthier place. And if you know of any hot straight guys in your gym, send them to mine. thanks
i REALLY have no idea why this is...
if its the exhausted, satisfied feeling i get when i'm done working out
the hot sweaty men
the sweaty sheen and smell
the way my muscles burn as endurance levels are pushed
the hot muscular men
the endorphins released
the hot strong men
obviously the hot men could be a big factor in why i pay the big corporate gym a chunk of change every month. i could kid myself and tell me its because it rains and i cant always run outside, or that i need strength training. but why kid a kidder.... i like the better view from my elliptical machine of the hot shirtless men rather than than the neighborhood park where the view consists of dads running with jogging strollers or old women who think they can pull off sports bras and spandex in broad daylight.
this is especially perplexing to me because when i leave, the thought of someone kissing me when i'm all sweaty is not appealing. things change on that way home, when i crank up the club
music, dance along, and then all i want to do is mug down with a hottie and get our sweaty bodies together
speaking of the gym, i see alot of guys i'd be interested in meeting. but i have no idea what to say to them... or even if i want to be that girl. see i've never been the girl that asks guys out. i have no issue with feminine wiles and flirting or batting my baby blues.... but i'm old-fashioned and southern. And asking for a date and proposing are 2 things that should always be taken care of by the GUY!
but i definitely wouldn't shoo a guy away if they came up to me in the gym- even just to meet me and get to know new ppl. I guess in my logic, a gym is less frightening because its a public place with lots of people around, everyone's in casual clothes, and there's music blaring. While sweat dripping down my face or worries over stray hairs/sweat stains do occasionally grip my paranoid mind... it seems easier to approach a someone in a gym than in other high-pressure cliche situations (bars!).
So if there are any guys reading - (a) take some advice, and try and at least tell your gym crush hello, and (b) tell me what to do to get MY gym crushes to talk to me (while NOT acting like a creeper/stalker).
till next time, please frequent your local gym and help make the world a prettier, healthier place. And if you know of any hot straight guys in your gym, send them to mine. thanks
snuggles vs sex
so the conondrum of the ages is without a doubt:
women need to be close to want to have sex
and men need to have sex in order to feel close
how does one possibly reconcile these 2 extremes?
someone... or something... has to give.
i dont understand how, when that happens, someone doesnt feel resentful, or used, or something.. that just dooms the rest of whatever you had.
this girl's knee-deep in quicksand and feeling trapped......any advice or experiences learned are welcomed.
women need to be close to want to have sex
and men need to have sex in order to feel close
how does one possibly reconcile these 2 extremes?
someone... or something... has to give.
i dont understand how, when that happens, someone doesnt feel resentful, or used, or something.. that just dooms the rest of whatever you had.
this girl's knee-deep in quicksand and feeling trapped......any advice or experiences learned are welcomed.
4.17.2008
daydreams...
i'm daydreaming on a lazy afternoon....
daydreaming of amazing 1st dates,
that feeling of attraction,
catching someone's gaze from across the room,
first kisses,
movie dates on his couch,
sizzling chemistry,
getting asked out (ALWAYS an ego booster),
having a boyfriend,
holding hands,
vacations, birthdays, and holidays with that someone special,
making out (juvenile yet so enjoyable)
comfort level of having someone who has your back on bad days,
getting flowers.... and love notes,
sweating over meeting the family,
making a mess in the kitchen cooking dinner together... and leaving it till morning
late night walks in the park,
afternoon naps cuddled up on the couch together,
getting a wedding invitation addressed to you both,
obsessing, losing sleep and finally saying " i love you" for the first time,
camping trips together,
suprising him with breakfast in bed,
someone who worrys about you getting home safe... and calls to double check
spending the night at his place,
him spending the night at yours....and checking the closets for you,
having a date for your friends' weddings...who are ALL getting married,
wistfully making future plans with him,
the dream of having that love for the rest of your lives...
i miss all that. yeah, i miss being loved. but more than that, i miss loving someone else. i miss having that person to think about, consider, cook for, worry about, take care of, &.... love.
daydreaming of amazing 1st dates,
that feeling of attraction,
catching someone's gaze from across the room,
first kisses,
movie dates on his couch,
sizzling chemistry,
getting asked out (ALWAYS an ego booster),
having a boyfriend,
holding hands,
vacations, birthdays, and holidays with that someone special,
making out (juvenile yet so enjoyable)
comfort level of having someone who has your back on bad days,
getting flowers.... and love notes,
sweating over meeting the family,
making a mess in the kitchen cooking dinner together... and leaving it till morning
late night walks in the park,
afternoon naps cuddled up on the couch together,
getting a wedding invitation addressed to you both,
obsessing, losing sleep and finally saying " i love you" for the first time,
camping trips together,
suprising him with breakfast in bed,
someone who worrys about you getting home safe... and calls to double check
spending the night at his place,
him spending the night at yours....and checking the closets for you,
having a date for your friends' weddings...who are ALL getting married,
wistfully making future plans with him,
the dream of having that love for the rest of your lives...
i miss all that. yeah, i miss being loved. but more than that, i miss loving someone else. i miss having that person to think about, consider, cook for, worry about, take care of, &.... love.
4.14.2008
B-list boyfriends
“B” terms are rarely good for relationships. Breaks, BOYS (men are only slightly better) blubbering, break-ups, bitchiness, broken hearts, boo-hooing, baby’s mommas, boobs (somebody else’s that your boyfriend’s checking out) and blow-offs
When did I become the girl that guys blow-off? More importantly, when did it become okay to blow-off someone? I know things are awkward as @$$ after break-ups, or even “relationships” that never become anything… but that doesn’t make it okay to be a dick about it. As the saying goes “just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to be one”… this applies to asses and dicks.
B, the long-term ex, never spoke to me again (except to ruin my birthday once) after the “break” that became a break-UP.
D, the short-term ex, fronted the “lets stay friends” routine as well as the “we’ll still hang out” due to the fact that we had mutual friends. However, since our split, he went out of his way to avoid me. And to be honest, making it such a big damn deal made things worse.
P, the one-time date, kissed and never called again (which pissed me off so badly I posted about it)
Then there was N – the month-plus long relationship. this one might be bipolar – he’s happy and sweet and making future plans one day and the next day he’s angry and sulky and “not in the same life direction” as me. Gee-golly – I was “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” with this guy. That and he turned out to be a self-absorbed prick (preened on every date and actually told me how “lucky I was to be with him”).
Still, he could have at least called and admitted that he didn’t really have time/energy/mirror space for me or some other lame ass excuse… NOT just stop answering calls/texts and never speak to me again!
The latest disaster in dates-ville was a set-up by one of my engaged friends (no, I didn’t know it was a set-up when I agreed to it) and the guy NEVER even showed. My self-esteem hit a new low that night and I’ve got pictures to prove it.
Seriously people – it is NOT okay to blow someone off. Regardless of how hot you think I’m not, or whether the relationship is on the down-hill slide – we’re still all human beings and due at least a little respect and dignity.
So, to all listening males (even though I’m probably preaching to the choir) – get over yourself, be a man, and use the manners your momma raised you with!
So quit your Bitchin’, grows some Balls* – and you might earn yourself an A-list girlfriend!
[*Preferably balls the size Bob Stoops (best coach in college football) had during the A&M/OU game this past fall… that guy has cojones!]
When did I become the girl that guys blow-off? More importantly, when did it become okay to blow-off someone? I know things are awkward as @$$ after break-ups, or even “relationships” that never become anything… but that doesn’t make it okay to be a dick about it. As the saying goes “just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to be one”… this applies to asses and dicks.
B, the long-term ex, never spoke to me again (except to ruin my birthday once) after the “break” that became a break-UP.
D, the short-term ex, fronted the “lets stay friends” routine as well as the “we’ll still hang out” due to the fact that we had mutual friends. However, since our split, he went out of his way to avoid me. And to be honest, making it such a big damn deal made things worse.
P, the one-time date, kissed and never called again (which pissed me off so badly I posted about it)
Then there was N – the month-plus long relationship. this one might be bipolar – he’s happy and sweet and making future plans one day and the next day he’s angry and sulky and “not in the same life direction” as me. Gee-golly – I was “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” with this guy. That and he turned out to be a self-absorbed prick (preened on every date and actually told me how “lucky I was to be with him”).
Still, he could have at least called and admitted that he didn’t really have time/energy/mirror space for me or some other lame ass excuse… NOT just stop answering calls/texts and never speak to me again!
The latest disaster in dates-ville was a set-up by one of my engaged friends (no, I didn’t know it was a set-up when I agreed to it) and the guy NEVER even showed. My self-esteem hit a new low that night and I’ve got pictures to prove it.
Seriously people – it is NOT okay to blow someone off. Regardless of how hot you think I’m not, or whether the relationship is on the down-hill slide – we’re still all human beings and due at least a little respect and dignity.
So, to all listening males (even though I’m probably preaching to the choir) – get over yourself, be a man, and use the manners your momma raised you with!
So quit your Bitchin’, grows some Balls* – and you might earn yourself an A-list girlfriend!
[*Preferably balls the size Bob Stoops (best coach in college football) had during the A&M/OU game this past fall… that guy has cojones!]
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