"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"
That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown
12.25.2008
12.23.2008
Buon Natale!
"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore…all of the sudden even though you have some place to put your shit, that idea of home is gone…or maybe it's like this rite of passage…you will never have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, for your kids, for the family you start. It’s like a cycle or something. Maybe that’s all family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place."
-Garden State-
So...this is what Christmas is to me.
This is why it's my absolute favorite time of the whole entire year.
Because for a magical 3-4 days, that "same imaginary place that everyone misses" is re-created.
everyone is in the same house. on uncomfortable air-mattresses because Grandma and Grandpa have to have separate bedrooms or they keep each other awake snoring.
and all of our crap is there.
and the presents we spent too much money/not enough thought picking out.
and there are little kids with sticky fingers,
and late-night wine on the back-porch with my mom/best friend who i've missed terribly,
and dogs who eat entire pies off the counter top, a
nd sappy cards from my broke college-kid brother that make my mom cry,
and last-minute newspaper-used-as-wrapping-paper,
and Gran mixing up all of our names,
and wayyyyy too much food,
and the inevitable fight because we're all having to co-exist in the same space together again.
and its just fcuking fantastic.
-Garden State-
So...this is what Christmas is to me.
This is why it's my absolute favorite time of the whole entire year.
Because for a magical 3-4 days, that "same imaginary place that everyone misses" is re-created.
everyone is in the same house. on uncomfortable air-mattresses because Grandma and Grandpa have to have separate bedrooms or they keep each other awake snoring.
and all of our crap is there.
and the presents we spent too much money/not enough thought picking out.
and there are little kids with sticky fingers,
and late-night wine on the back-porch with my mom/best friend who i've missed terribly,
and dogs who eat entire pies off the counter top, a
nd sappy cards from my broke college-kid brother that make my mom cry,
and last-minute newspaper-used-as-wrapping-paper,
and Gran mixing up all of our names,
and wayyyyy too much food,
and the inevitable fight because we're all having to co-exist in the same space together again.
and its just fcuking fantastic.
11.29.2008
i'm thankful for....
i'm thankful for my family. very, VERY thankful
after spending the holiday with SO's (significant other) family. I realized and learned some very important thing.
after spending the holiday with SO's (significant other) family. I realized and learned some very important thing.
- (1) 40 ppl eating wayyy too much in a house w/3 bathrooms is NOT a good idea.
i did some serious dancing while waiting my turn - (2)there ARE indeed families weirder and more messed-up than mine
- (3) sleeping with the bf in his bed, in his house when his dad is staying there too, is still incredibly awkward. even at 25 years old. even though you both slept in long pajamas, on opposite sides of the bed, with absolutely no physical contact between your bodies, for fear of the bed squeaking.
- (4) alcohol makes it all better. esp when laughing at 50 yr olds who come home smashed at 11pm, the day before Turkey Day
frzn turkey bowling is ALWAYS a good idea
11.15.2008
volume II
"about letting go and moving on, the thing is that to grieve something -
you actually have to admit that you've lost it.
and admitting that its over and gone
---or that you never really had him to begin with ---
is a tough pill to swallow.
but it goes down better with rum and coke...." :-)
you actually have to admit that you've lost it.
and admitting that its over and gone
---or that you never really had him to begin with ---
is a tough pill to swallow.
but it goes down better with rum and coke...." :-)
men are emotional fuck-tards
i just got off the phone wiht my friend and the stories that he regaled me with just re-affirm my belief that the majority of women's emotional hang-ups are due to @$$holes like HIM!
all because he can't (or won't) get over this girl from like 6 years ago! [paging Dr. Phil]
dont get me wrong. i dont plan on not being friends because of this...
BUT i am so f-ing glad that we never dated. and wish I could forewarn any woman he meets!
the stories of dating 3-4 women at a time, while lying to all of them. and never ever telling anyone in a relationship "i love you" as well as refusing to define or label relationships all equalls up to a person who is emotionally and "relationship-ally" fucked up. and that messed-up-ness just gets dumped onto every person that he becomes romantically encountered with....
damn, this whole converstion just has me worked up in a dither.
and madder than a swarm of red wasps.
i just got off the phone wiht my friend and the stories that he regaled me with just re-affirm my belief that the majority of women's emotional hang-ups are due to @$$holes like HIM!
all because he can't (or won't) get over this girl from like 6 years ago! [paging Dr. Phil]
dont get me wrong. i dont plan on not being friends because of this...
BUT i am so f-ing glad that we never dated. and wish I could forewarn any woman he meets!
the stories of dating 3-4 women at a time, while lying to all of them. and never ever telling anyone in a relationship "i love you" as well as refusing to define or label relationships all equalls up to a person who is emotionally and "relationship-ally" fucked up. and that messed-up-ness just gets dumped onto every person that he becomes romantically encountered with....
damn, this whole converstion just has me worked up in a dither.
and madder than a swarm of red wasps.
11.13.2008
"i believe in love.... i believe in happiness - and i believe in you"
i just love this song by Don Williams... (especially now that there is that someone in my life with similar values and common traits.) This song epitomizes simple Southern beliefs and values. they may not always hold true but they're tradition. and around here - traditions stick like my momma says that grits stick to your ribs. :-)
"I don't believe in superstars,Organic food and foreign cars.I don't believe the price of gold;The certainty of growing old.That right is right and left is wrong,That north and south can't get along.That east is east and west is west.And being first is always best.
But I believe in love.I believe in babies.I believe in Mom and Dad.And I believe in you.
Well, I don't believe that heaven waits,For only those who congregate.I like to think of God as love:He's down below, He's up above.He's watching people everywhere.He knows who does and doesn't care.And I'm an ordinary man,Sometimes I wonder who I am.
But I believe in love.I believe in music.I believe in magic.And I believe in you.
I don't believe virginity,Is as common as it used to be. In working days and sleeping nights,That black is black and white is white. That Superman and Robin Hood,Are still alive in Hollywood.That gasoline's in short supply,The rising cost of getting by.
But I believe in love.I believe in old folks. I believe in children.I believe in you.And I believe in love.I believe in babies.I believe in Mom and Dad.And I believe in you"
"I don't believe in superstars,Organic food and foreign cars.I don't believe the price of gold;The certainty of growing old.That right is right and left is wrong,That north and south can't get along.That east is east and west is west.And being first is always best.
But I believe in love.I believe in babies.I believe in Mom and Dad.And I believe in you.
Well, I don't believe that heaven waits,For only those who congregate.I like to think of God as love:He's down below, He's up above.He's watching people everywhere.He knows who does and doesn't care.And I'm an ordinary man,Sometimes I wonder who I am.
But I believe in love.I believe in music.I believe in magic.And I believe in you.
I don't believe virginity,Is as common as it used to be. In working days and sleeping nights,That black is black and white is white. That Superman and Robin Hood,Are still alive in Hollywood.That gasoline's in short supply,The rising cost of getting by.
But I believe in love.I believe in old folks. I believe in children.I believe in you.And I believe in love.I believe in babies.I believe in Mom and Dad.And I believe in you"
11.11.2008
paging Dr Freud
i need to learn to take my own advice...
in re-reading my own blog. i came across a quote - "never make someone your priority when you're only an option to them".
i cant believe i was questioning a possibly incredible future over someone who cant even return a call or msg. much less what's going on
you'd think i'd learn from lessons learned. of those who cant, or wont, commit. for those who i'm not a priority to.
in matters of the heart - do I keep making the same mistakes... or am I just always dating the same guy?
in re-reading my own blog. i came across a quote - "never make someone your priority when you're only an option to them".
i cant believe i was questioning a possibly incredible future over someone who cant even return a call or msg. much less what's going on
you'd think i'd learn from lessons learned. of those who cant, or wont, commit. for those who i'm not a priority to.
in matters of the heart - do I keep making the same mistakes... or am I just always dating the same guy?
10.22.2008
Pulitzer Prize... here we come
my friend and I should write a book.
the conversation went something like this...
"the logical part of my brain knows that you're right. I just cant get the emotional-irrational part of my brain to SHUT THE HELL UP!"
"well my first reaction would be to throw some alcohol at the problem. but that might have the opposite effect in this case...."
the conversation went something like this...
"the logical part of my brain knows that you're right. I just cant get the emotional-irrational part of my brain to SHUT THE HELL UP!"
"well my first reaction would be to throw some alcohol at the problem. but that might have the opposite effect in this case...."
10.03.2008
kiss = relationship. making out = marriage
okay....
so a intoxicating night of greasy tex-mex, whiskey and dancing...
my hormones have beaten me into submission, & i'm a horny girl with her beer goggles firmly intact
yeah. past experience should have prepared me for this one.
not only did i get snubbed without a kiss, i get this ego-slamming text: "i wanted to kiss you tonight but i'm not ready for a gf"
WTF?!? since when did kissing = girlfriend???*
i just wanted to have some fun but now i'm going to bed pissed-off, drunk and lonely!
what a shitty combination - ARRRGGGGGGGGGHHH!
*you know, my dim recollection does re-call this guy dating some girl because they made out at a party and then she put they were "dating" in FB. for no other reason that those. pretty sure he couldnt have picked her out of a line-up.
so a intoxicating night of greasy tex-mex, whiskey and dancing...
my hormones have beaten me into submission, & i'm a horny girl with her beer goggles firmly intact
yeah. past experience should have prepared me for this one.
not only did i get snubbed without a kiss, i get this ego-slamming text: "i wanted to kiss you tonight but i'm not ready for a gf"
WTF?!? since when did kissing = girlfriend???*
i just wanted to have some fun but now i'm going to bed pissed-off, drunk and lonely!
what a shitty combination - ARRRGGGGGGGGGHHH!
*you know, my dim recollection does re-call this guy dating some girl because they made out at a party and then she put they were "dating" in FB. for no other reason that those. pretty sure he couldnt have picked her out of a line-up.
9.28.2008
anchors away...
the Lt and I are OVER.
O-V-E-R
not that anything tangible ever really began...
the weekend was a distaster from start to finish. so bad that i left early.
and i cried.
damn yankees
O-V-E-R
not that anything tangible ever really began...
the weekend was a distaster from start to finish. so bad that i left early.
and i cried.
damn yankees
9.21.2008
an officer and a gentleman
there's a reason why women swoon over movies with military men.
i dont know what it is wtih this year...i've never dated a military (or ex-military) guy in my life before but suddenly God has bestowed 2 upon me.
one turned out to be a douchebag. and i mean that in the nicest way possible ;-)
the other, however, has definite bf potential.
he's cute, smart, has goals, is motivated, has same small-town upbringing, family oriented, Christian, and is pretty damn HOT too. Yum :-D
and to put a cherry on-top, we had an aMaZiNg 1st date. winery, romantic Italian restaurant, walk through beautiful park in full bloom. good making out ending (yeah probably too fast, but who am I to stop a good thing going....?)
here's to hoping that he calls within that damn 3 day rule
i dont know what it is wtih this year...i've never dated a military (or ex-military) guy in my life before but suddenly God has bestowed 2 upon me.
one turned out to be a douchebag. and i mean that in the nicest way possible ;-)
the other, however, has definite bf potential.
he's cute, smart, has goals, is motivated, has same small-town upbringing, family oriented, Christian, and is pretty damn HOT too. Yum :-D
and to put a cherry on-top, we had an aMaZiNg 1st date. winery, romantic Italian restaurant, walk through beautiful park in full bloom. good making out ending (yeah probably too fast, but who am I to stop a good thing going....?)
here's to hoping that he calls within that damn 3 day rule
9.08.2008
southern men
Men, not boys, with the right upbringing and manners are in short supply.
Say what you will about the South and our bass-ackward ways – you can’t find gentlemen better than the ones raised below the Mason-Dixon line.
Their mommas’ raised them to open doors, call for dates (not by facebook, email or text), and to pull out your chair at dinner.
They offer to buy dinner, walk you to your door, and – if you’re lucky enough to get a kiss – you get “kissed often and by someone who knows how” [Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind].
Personally, I like my men tall, dark and handsome – just like my drinks.
(somewhat ironic since the guys I've dated were blonds – could be why it didn’t work out ;-)
Say what you will about the South and our bass-ackward ways – you can’t find gentlemen better than the ones raised below the Mason-Dixon line.
Their mommas’ raised them to open doors, call for dates (not by facebook, email or text), and to pull out your chair at dinner.
They offer to buy dinner, walk you to your door, and – if you’re lucky enough to get a kiss – you get “kissed often and by someone who knows how” [Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind].
Personally, I like my men tall, dark and handsome – just like my drinks.
(somewhat ironic since the guys I've dated were blonds – could be why it didn’t work out ;-)
8.31.2008
power hour
the singles scene sucks. bar, gym, church, coffeehouse - all of them
i dont care what city, state, country or continent you live on - meeting an available, normal, single man with no fetishes, criminal history, or relationship hang-ups is quite the impossible feat!
-gay
-think they're God's gift to women (you can tell by the 'strut' they do around the gym)
or
-meatheads
all the cute ones are ph-so-obliviously plugged into their i-pods...
seriously - do you never need a water break?!?!
I'm all about an occasional drink but you only meet one of two types in a bar:
(1) the alcoholic who's there 5 nights outta the week. This one knows all the daily specials, drinks 'chuggers' of cheap beer... until every girl in the bar is attractive. Constantly trying to get a piece and relieves the "good ole days" with all the other losers
(2) the type who are socially awkward/super intelligent/desperate... who dress up, spend lots of money on buying girls drinks....hoping to get one girl drunk enough where their desperation shrinks, and the nerd/freak/weirdo become attractive to her.
i dont care what city, state, country or continent you live on - meeting an available, normal, single man with no fetishes, criminal history, or relationship hang-ups is quite the impossible feat!
Coffeehouses:
So coffeehouses - where the mature, intellectual people gather to read, study and generally broaden their minds and perspectives. One would assume you could meet someone intelligent who has a mutual addiction to coffee.
not so
you either meet goofy nerds who are busy playing WOW on their laptops, giggling like schoolgirl
or
you have the "i'm too good for my Armani" snobs who barely meet your glance over their $3000 MacBook Air.
Church:
the quint-essential "meat-market".
its somewhere i'm going to be regardless because that where God calls me to fellowship with like-minded believers.
But the "singles-group" that exists in these is a smoke-screen for a meat-market (no news flash to any of us dating since high school).
however, dont hold your breath hoping to meet someone of similar faith
the only types are the "holier-than-thou"s who act like having a margarita is the downfall of Christianity,
or
(look away if easily offended)
the ugly people who are hoping that "good" people will like them and overlook why they've so far been unable to convince someone to someday procreate with them...
or
the "bad" boys who come to church looking for the "good" girls, who, you know - are secretly bad in disguise. 'that's hot'
AARRRGGGHHHH!
Gym:
i joined the gym b/c
(a) I needed weights to do strength training, which running can't provide allow
(b) i cant run when it rains
(c) i wanted to meet other people who understand the importance of working out to your health and keep physically fit.
(d) whomever i date, its important that he takes care of himself, and working out is a great way to spend quality time together
-gay
-think they're God's gift to women (you can tell by the 'strut' they do around the gym)
or
-meatheads
all the cute ones are ph-so-obliviously plugged into their i-pods...
seriously - do you never need a water break?!?!
Bar
the bar scene is bar-none (pun intended) the worst!I'm all about an occasional drink but you only meet one of two types in a bar:
(1) the alcoholic who's there 5 nights outta the week. This one knows all the daily specials, drinks 'chuggers' of cheap beer... until every girl in the bar is attractive. Constantly trying to get a piece and relieves the "good ole days" with all the other losers
(2) the type who are socially awkward/super intelligent/desperate... who dress up, spend lots of money on buying girls drinks....hoping to get one girl drunk enough where their desperation shrinks, and the nerd/freak/weirdo become attractive to her.
so to anyone who has any better suggestion of where singles mingle, or knows where the normal single guys are hiding - I'm all ears
8.30.2008
shape me, mold me and make me
“Life doesn’t give you the people you want.
It gives you the people you need.
To help you,
to hurt you,
to love you,
and to make you the person you were meant to be.”
It gives you the people you need.
To help you,
to hurt you,
to love you,
and to make you the person you were meant to be.”
8.29.2008
onlinedatingscaresme.com
so when my mother starts calls my dog her "granddog",
asks you if you've considered freezing your eggs ...
(i couldnt make this shit up if i wanted to)
and then tells you about the secretary's cousin's son who met his Russian wife online,
you kinda know what station her train of thought is about to chug into....
ONLINE dating
while you appreciate her once again "caring" intrusion into your social life (or lack there of) the thought of legitimately trying online dating is both intriguing and terrifying.
intruiguing in that you can already filter out the ones
(A) you're not attracted to
(B) share no life goals with
(C) belongs to some obscure/cult religion that you could never possibly consider joining or exposing your future children to,
or
(D) out of your age range.
(including blue pill-popping sugar daddies and/or cougar-seeking college boys)
terrifying that
(A) you would actually have to put your photo online with a contact method
(B) if (and that's a big IF) you meet someone who can manage to keep a conversation going with you, that you'll have to meet this stranger in public for a potential belly-flop date. in which case you have to start the process all over
(C) a really not cool way of telling your grandkids of how ya'll met and
(D) have to shell out money to get the work of filtering out the freaks
although you do have to wonder....
in this day and age where technology changes every aspect of how we live life, ( internet, cell phones, caller-ID, GPS, etc)
why is it so hard for us to embrace that technology has changed dating?
it's already changed life where its harder/less common to meet people face-to-face rather than teleconferences, IM/FB chat, or web mtgs...
how can we not expect it to change how we do meet potential matches?
if tech can take away human contact,
it sure as hell owes us some sort of benefit in return
(aka: slide-show preview of our future alimony payers)
;-)
asks you if you've considered freezing your eggs ...
(i couldnt make this shit up if i wanted to)
and then tells you about the secretary's cousin's son who met his Russian wife online,
you kinda know what station her train of thought is about to chug into....
ONLINE dating
while you appreciate her once again "caring" intrusion into your social life (or lack there of) the thought of legitimately trying online dating is both intriguing and terrifying.
intruiguing in that you can already filter out the ones
(A) you're not attracted to
(B) share no life goals with
(C) belongs to some obscure/cult religion that you could never possibly consider joining or exposing your future children to,
or
(D) out of your age range.
(including blue pill-popping sugar daddies and/or cougar-seeking college boys)
terrifying that
(A) you would actually have to put your photo online with a contact method
(B) if (and that's a big IF) you meet someone who can manage to keep a conversation going with you, that you'll have to meet this stranger in public for a potential belly-flop date. in which case you have to start the process all over
(C) a really not cool way of telling your grandkids of how ya'll met and
(D) have to shell out money to get the work of filtering out the freaks
although you do have to wonder....
in this day and age where technology changes every aspect of how we live life, ( internet, cell phones, caller-ID, GPS, etc)
why is it so hard for us to embrace that technology has changed dating?
it's already changed life where its harder/less common to meet people face-to-face rather than teleconferences, IM/FB chat, or web mtgs...
how can we not expect it to change how we do meet potential matches?
if tech can take away human contact,
it sure as hell owes us some sort of benefit in return
(aka: slide-show preview of our future alimony payers)
;-)
8.28.2008
people
“People are going to want you.
need you, exceed you, take you.
love you, hate you, play you,
rate you, save you and break you.
But that’s what makes you.”
need you, exceed you, take you.
love you, hate you, play you,
rate you, save you and break you.
But that’s what makes you.”
8.27.2008
the secret to my success...
what is the secret to s-u-c-c-e-s-s in life?
most would say "following what you believe/love"
i'm motivated to pursue my passions. right now its my career. one day it might be a family. i dont know. life has no guarantees, so i only know that i will whole-heartedly pursue my heart's deepest desire - whatever that might be.
no one sets out to be mediocre, but sometimes it happens. sometimes life happens.... gets in the way
but only if you let it...
more importantly, you're only mediocre if you allow someone else to define what success means to you
only being a housewife would not be my personal definition of success currently.
but if it IS Suzy Q's definition of success and she's the best damn housewife she can be...
then she should be considered a success.
regardless of our own personal ambitions or pre-conceived expectations of "success"
its mind-boggling how fiercly independent most of us believe we are..... and yet we let ourselves be judged by standards or definitions that others set.
society, parents, church members, friends, co-workers, personal trainers, el hefe, etc.
i dont know that i'll ever really understand all different takes on being a successful female in modern times simply because i'll never be right there. its not the path my life is on right now.
but i can appreciate that there are different walks of life.
and in life, it takes all kinds
most would say "following what you believe/love"
i'm motivated to pursue my passions. right now its my career. one day it might be a family. i dont know. life has no guarantees, so i only know that i will whole-heartedly pursue my heart's deepest desire - whatever that might be.
no one sets out to be mediocre, but sometimes it happens. sometimes life happens.... gets in the way
but only if you let it...
more importantly, you're only mediocre if you allow someone else to define what success means to you
only being a housewife would not be my personal definition of success currently.
but if it IS Suzy Q's definition of success and she's the best damn housewife she can be...
then she should be considered a success.
regardless of our own personal ambitions or pre-conceived expectations of "success"
its mind-boggling how fiercly independent most of us believe we are..... and yet we let ourselves be judged by standards or definitions that others set.
society, parents, church members, friends, co-workers, personal trainers, el hefe, etc.
i dont know that i'll ever really understand all different takes on being a successful female in modern times simply because i'll never be right there. its not the path my life is on right now.
but i can appreciate that there are different walks of life.
and in life, it takes all kinds
8.26.2008
"aye aye captain" - the sequel
so a random drunken text has led to the revival of our old friend - the Lt.
due to distance, we had had some pretty amazing (as much as possible) late night phone "talks"; however, as previously posted, after our dates, i got the "its not you, its me" speech.
so i was mildly shocked the other night when my slightly-alcohol-numbed self texted ' i miss our "talks" ', and i ACTUALLY got a phone call the next minute.
which led to some re-hashing of the "i cant date right now" speech... which he re-phrased into "we can date, if we take it slow" (his words, not mine folks), i was intruiged enough by our intellectual/sense of humor connection that i still missed (1st mental/humor connection with a single guy since B) to humor him with a late night "talk" (largely exaggerated {aka faked} in my inebrieated state)
apparently that re-opened the whole can of worms as i got yet another call the next day. for antoher late night "talk". which was abruptly ended when he "realized how LATE it was". how rude.
which leads my still-bruised ego to ponder if he's geniunely interested in me, or if he wants to put up just enough of a farce to make me think we're dating (and thus move to 3rd base), or if he's just using me because he lives where its 80%+ male and most of the females are butch or "ladies of the night"....
i dont want to let my jaded heart miss out on something that COULD be really fantastic. but i also dont want to get strung along until he gets his.
my heart doesnt need to be sent through the meat processor again so soon.
due to distance, we had had some pretty amazing (as much as possible) late night phone "talks"; however, as previously posted, after our dates, i got the "its not you, its me" speech.
so i was mildly shocked the other night when my slightly-alcohol-numbed self texted ' i miss our "talks" ', and i ACTUALLY got a phone call the next minute.
which led to some re-hashing of the "i cant date right now" speech... which he re-phrased into "we can date, if we take it slow" (his words, not mine folks), i was intruiged enough by our intellectual/sense of humor connection that i still missed (1st mental/humor connection with a single guy since B) to humor him with a late night "talk" (largely exaggerated {aka faked} in my inebrieated state)
apparently that re-opened the whole can of worms as i got yet another call the next day. for antoher late night "talk". which was abruptly ended when he "realized how LATE it was". how rude.
which leads my still-bruised ego to ponder if he's geniunely interested in me, or if he wants to put up just enough of a farce to make me think we're dating (and thus move to 3rd base), or if he's just using me because he lives where its 80%+ male and most of the females are butch or "ladies of the night"....
i dont want to let my jaded heart miss out on something that COULD be really fantastic. but i also dont want to get strung along until he gets his.
my heart doesnt need to be sent through the meat processor again so soon.
8.25.2008
"to infiniti... and BEYOND"
the suave businessman races up the fire escape stairs...
the music swells...
the modern-day Rapunzel tosses her fiery auburn hair and dazzles with her brilliant HUGE smile...
her white knight has come to save her.... and so she turns around and saves him right back
all of the anticipation, thrills, disappointments have led to THIS moment. the climax is here
and the kiss is pure magic.
"i love you...", " i love you too"
the camera pans out. credits roll. happily ever after
three little words.
so small.........yet so powerful
they change your feelings, stir your desires, make you hope, stretch your dreams.
they change your life
(no, not in an instant - welcome to real life)
and with these 3 words, the couple goes on to live happily ever after. forever and ever.
"for the rest of all time"
never does this "i love you" lead you to believe that this couple will only be together until he loses his job and she leaves him for the pool boy.
nor do you believe that their love cannot withstand a second mortgage while dealing with his parents' failing health, a college-bound daughter headed out of state, and their son's alcohol rehab program.
in fact, nothing about those 3 little words leads you to believe that it will NOT be forever!
and for those of us who have experienced love - i dont think anyone says those words believing that "their love" is a temporary affliction. one that will eventually fail and break their heart
c'mon people - if you knew for certain your heart would get shredded, that the relationship would end and you would be stuck with the memories, regrets, .... reminders of it all. no one would even attempt to connect with that other person, much less chance falling in love. we'd all just screw like bunnies.
skeptics may say that my Hollywood rose-glasses are the reason behind my unrealistic expectation of love. i say its not so
and as proof for society's court, i bring my grandparents - 50+ years strong and counting. my parents - 30 years of married bliss. my aunt and uncle - 40+ years, my granny and my pops (RIP) had almost 50 years of holy matrimony.
so dont tell me its the Meg Ryan and Julia Roberts movies that set my bar for love so high.
Hollywood may have skewed my expecations of the "perfect date" but i have living proof that "i love you" can mean forever. that it does mean commitment and loyalty. and that I shouldn't have to settle for it meaning any less
the music swells...
the modern-day Rapunzel tosses her fiery auburn hair and dazzles with her brilliant HUGE smile...
her white knight has come to save her.... and so she turns around and saves him right back
all of the anticipation, thrills, disappointments have led to THIS moment. the climax is here
and the kiss is pure magic.
"i love you...", " i love you too"
the camera pans out. credits roll. happily ever after
three little words.
so small.........yet so powerful
they change your feelings, stir your desires, make you hope, stretch your dreams.
they change your life
(no, not in an instant - welcome to real life)
and with these 3 words, the couple goes on to live happily ever after. forever and ever.
"for the rest of all time"
never does this "i love you" lead you to believe that this couple will only be together until he loses his job and she leaves him for the pool boy.
nor do you believe that their love cannot withstand a second mortgage while dealing with his parents' failing health, a college-bound daughter headed out of state, and their son's alcohol rehab program.
in fact, nothing about those 3 little words leads you to believe that it will NOT be forever!
and for those of us who have experienced love - i dont think anyone says those words believing that "their love" is a temporary affliction. one that will eventually fail and break their heart
c'mon people - if you knew for certain your heart would get shredded, that the relationship would end and you would be stuck with the memories, regrets, .... reminders of it all. no one would even attempt to connect with that other person, much less chance falling in love. we'd all just screw like bunnies.
skeptics may say that my Hollywood rose-glasses are the reason behind my unrealistic expectation of love. i say its not so
and as proof for society's court, i bring my grandparents - 50+ years strong and counting. my parents - 30 years of married bliss. my aunt and uncle - 40+ years, my granny and my pops (RIP) had almost 50 years of holy matrimony.
so dont tell me its the Meg Ryan and Julia Roberts movies that set my bar for love so high.
Hollywood may have skewed my expecations of the "perfect date" but i have living proof that "i love you" can mean forever. that it does mean commitment and loyalty. and that I shouldn't have to settle for it meaning any less
8.01.2008
the cold hard truth
as hard as it is to even acknowledge the thoughts, much less, see them typed on my screen through tear-blurried eyes, i'm hoping that laying my bruised scarred heart out in the open will be theraputic. because I HAVE to move on. I want to love again.
and because i need to tell my side of the story, even though he'll never read this...
it hurt when he never called. it stung when he disregareded all thoughts that i should know it was a BREAK-UP, not just a break. what's 3 years together? throw that out the window.
i learned the hard way that -" i love you" - doesnt always mean forever.
it about killed me having to tell my heart that it was over, he wasnt coming back. and yet, a piece of me held on.
everyone told me to move-on. i was better off without him. look at how he was treating me with so little regard to my feelings, my heart, my LIFE.
but you cant tell your heart how to feel, OR how to heal. and you sure as hell can't give it an ultimatum or deadline on "getting over him".
so as the months passed, i told myself it was time enough. i numbly stumbled through the 1st 6 months of disbelief, of hoping and believing he would come back. i survived the next 6 months where i struggled with pain, anger, disbelief, rage, abandonment, jadedness.
after moving cities and changing jobs, i forced myself to date someone. someone i wasnt sure i had feelings for but who i knew had feelings for me. after all, everyone said it had been long enough. for goodness sakes, it was over a year.
it was long enough for everyone except my heart. who was still struggling to reconcil being in love with someone who either never really loved you to begin with OR (possibly worse) fell out of love with you.
so i forced myself into recirpocating those 3 magical words " i love you" to someone i had no plausible future with. and in the process, irrepriably damaged a friendship.
when i finally realized he was through with "us" (which would have been a much faster conclusion had he just TOLD me it was over), i feared i would never feel that way with someone again. i felt like i would never have that intimate mental connection with someone who GOT me. who understood my thought process, got my jokes, didnt get offended with my sarcasm, shared my love for witty banter. to add insult to injury, i couldnt even find anyone to date that i was attracted to.
and it ripped at my patched-up heart when statuses started changing. 1st a relationship, then engaged, then married - all in less than 3 months. which is how i knew something was up. turns out via a msg, that he knocked up the 1st girl he dated after me (although he managed to keep it in his pants for the entire time we were together ). but he "loves" her and all.
[which is odd that he bothered telling me that b/c i'm not the one who needs the convincing.]
and with that, the book of B & me closed forever. i'm not a home-wrecker and i will never willingly be "the other woman".
the piece i was holding on to was ripped from my hand...
in forcing myself to "move-on" i've made my share of mistakes- kisses with commitment-phobes, dates with crushes i had no intention of reciprocating. i seemed intent on seeking revenge on love for all i felt it had inflicted upon me. and trust me, if i could have found a way of inflicting it upon him, i would have. (couldnt think up anything NOT involving criminal mischief charges-and believe me. i wanted to let my daddy shoot him :-)
not only that... but for being the one perosn who i shared my most intimate thoughts, my greatests fears and my biggest hopes - the running joke that i was "too much to handle" became an all-too-true reality. and i am petrified that this still stands true for any guy that i date.
my best friend helped me the most when she said: "honey, you're not too much. you are a great adventure for some guy to share his life with. B got scared and took the easy way out. and some part of him will always have a twinge of regret and wonder 'what if"...
He settled for a watered down version of you...."
as for present-day, i'm still looking for "great love" & i'm not taking any short-cuts or easy ways out
to paraphrase an otherwise crappy movie - "there are 3 loves - love, big love and great love. love you get over in 2 months, big love takes 2 years. great love - you never get over."
i've had a "big" love that i mistook for great love. so my greatest hope is that something even greater has yet to come along....
and because i need to tell my side of the story, even though he'll never read this...
it hurt when he never called. it stung when he disregareded all thoughts that i should know it was a BREAK-UP, not just a break. what's 3 years together? throw that out the window.
i learned the hard way that -" i love you" - doesnt always mean forever.
it about killed me having to tell my heart that it was over, he wasnt coming back. and yet, a piece of me held on.
everyone told me to move-on. i was better off without him. look at how he was treating me with so little regard to my feelings, my heart, my LIFE.
but you cant tell your heart how to feel, OR how to heal. and you sure as hell can't give it an ultimatum or deadline on "getting over him".
so as the months passed, i told myself it was time enough. i numbly stumbled through the 1st 6 months of disbelief, of hoping and believing he would come back. i survived the next 6 months where i struggled with pain, anger, disbelief, rage, abandonment, jadedness.
after moving cities and changing jobs, i forced myself to date someone. someone i wasnt sure i had feelings for but who i knew had feelings for me. after all, everyone said it had been long enough. for goodness sakes, it was over a year.
it was long enough for everyone except my heart. who was still struggling to reconcil being in love with someone who either never really loved you to begin with OR (possibly worse) fell out of love with you.
so i forced myself into recirpocating those 3 magical words " i love you" to someone i had no plausible future with. and in the process, irrepriably damaged a friendship.
when i finally realized he was through with "us" (which would have been a much faster conclusion had he just TOLD me it was over), i feared i would never feel that way with someone again. i felt like i would never have that intimate mental connection with someone who GOT me. who understood my thought process, got my jokes, didnt get offended with my sarcasm, shared my love for witty banter. to add insult to injury, i couldnt even find anyone to date that i was attracted to.
and it ripped at my patched-up heart when statuses started changing. 1st a relationship, then engaged, then married - all in less than 3 months. which is how i knew something was up. turns out via a msg, that he knocked up the 1st girl he dated after me (although he managed to keep it in his pants for the entire time we were together ). but he "loves" her and all.
[which is odd that he bothered telling me that b/c i'm not the one who needs the convincing.]
and with that, the book of B & me closed forever. i'm not a home-wrecker and i will never willingly be "the other woman".
the piece i was holding on to was ripped from my hand...
in forcing myself to "move-on" i've made my share of mistakes- kisses with commitment-phobes, dates with crushes i had no intention of reciprocating. i seemed intent on seeking revenge on love for all i felt it had inflicted upon me. and trust me, if i could have found a way of inflicting it upon him, i would have. (couldnt think up anything NOT involving criminal mischief charges-and believe me. i wanted to let my daddy shoot him :-)
not only that... but for being the one perosn who i shared my most intimate thoughts, my greatests fears and my biggest hopes - the running joke that i was "too much to handle" became an all-too-true reality. and i am petrified that this still stands true for any guy that i date.
my best friend helped me the most when she said: "honey, you're not too much. you are a great adventure for some guy to share his life with. B got scared and took the easy way out. and some part of him will always have a twinge of regret and wonder 'what if"...
He settled for a watered down version of you...."
as for present-day, i'm still looking for "great love" & i'm not taking any short-cuts or easy ways out
to paraphrase an otherwise crappy movie - "there are 3 loves - love, big love and great love. love you get over in 2 months, big love takes 2 years. great love - you never get over."
i've had a "big" love that i mistook for great love. so my greatest hope is that something even greater has yet to come along....
7.25.2008
Morse Code: beep beep beep... beep beep. beep beep beep.
To all the single women -
"You don't like to get hit on in public, you don't want to date online and you don't want to be set up on blind dates. Tell us if sending messenger pigeons is an appropriate way of courting you. Because if it is, we're all over that shit. Thanks"
- all single men-
"You don't like to get hit on in public, you don't want to date online and you don't want to be set up on blind dates. Tell us if sending messenger pigeons is an appropriate way of courting you. Because if it is, we're all over that shit. Thanks"
- all single men-
7.24.2008
case of the crazies
Anyone ever watched the hilarious quirky comedy Scrubs? If so you know Elliot – the girl that the adorable Zach Braff character is in (and out of) love with.
That girl has ISSUES. You name it – she’s obsessing over it, paranoid about it, or inappropriately sharing about it (often with complete strangers).
Now I can't say that I “relate” to everything that she goes through (or puts herself through)…but there’s a lot about women that men can take from this girl, while not gagging through Dr Phil or Oprah
[*side note* “Girls Next Door” does not count as a window into the thoughts of “real women”]
Point-in-case: Elliot’s an independent woman – making her own moola, while kicking ass (sometimes her own) and taking names. When, I ask you, does she turn into an emotional, clinging wet blanket …. when she falls IN LOVE!!!
There is something about falling in love, trusting someone that makes you vulnerable in ways you never dreamed possible. I’m talking about love, people, not sex. We all know sex makes you vulnerable – someone see you naked (if you’re doing it right)… and everyone has body issues. There’s technique to worry about, orgasms, staying afterwards, morning breath, and awkward goodbyes.
Love, however, entails feeling SO MUCH about this person that its almost sensory over-load…and believing that they love you back just as much. Love is so much that I can’t even get into it or even explain it in words because I would lose any hope of a focused train of thought (if I haven’t already). You know what love is… most of you have experienced it. If not, hope to God that you do find it at least once in your life… it’s horrible / wonderful / miserable / exhilarating all at once… and there is absolutely nothing like it in the entire world.
(keep in mind that this is coming from a woman jaded by a broken several year-long relationship… and I’m STILL saying this)
Elliot falls in love with Rick Schroeder who’s character’s name I cant remember (something Flowers). In her quest to make, keep, and maintain this relationship, she hides her “quirks”. Random inappropriate stupid thoughts/actions that are part of who she is. The point is that she hides it from him until she just can’t - and then it starts spilling over on people throughout the hospital.
Now the truth in that is that every woman at some point in some relationship has hidden part of who she is. Who hasn’t felt like you need to hide those “crazy” parts of you so that he can get to know because you just KNOW that if he gets to REALLY know you – those crazies won’t matter. Whether its alphabetizing your DVDs, arranging your closet by colors, wearing underwear with days of the week on it, or obsessively checking under the bed every night – there’s a “crazy” part in each of us.
I personally have been to both extremes while in love. 1st serious boyfriend – I was miss independent until I fell head over heels for him. As I envisioned our life together and matching monogrammed towels, things began to unravel. After one particularly impassioned argument, he informed me that my independence that he loved so much about me was gone and that my clingy, emotional-needy dependence on him was too much. Here I was believing that this guy was The One – how I loved being with him every day, talking to him every night, spending weekends and holidays together …only to be brutally faced with his version of me being “clingy”. Talk about harsh reality.
Zoom forward to rebound boyfriend – determined to keep my independence, I drove myself everywhere, refused to get attached to his family or spend any holidays with them. I spent weekends alone after assuring him how great it was that he go fishing with the guys, or to that concert. At this extreme, I was in a relationship and still felt alone. Worse yet – I was keeping those “crazies” of wanting to be with him and not telling him for fear of being “clingy”. Needless to say, when we broke up – he told me that he felt like I never let my guard down – and that I didn’t seem to want to be a part of his life and family.
hopefully my next turn on the relationship merry-go-round – I’ll manage to keep the balance. Fall in love, be with him, but keep my girlfriends so that I don’t become an emotional mess on the times we can’t be together – or to just enjoy time apart. I’m also not gonna keep all MY “crazies” in. If he can’t deal with my color-coded pantry organization system, he’s just not worth it. There’s a song playing on country radio called “crazy like you” by Josh Grider. It’s pretty much exactly how I feel about finding that guy -
"I say everybody's crazy so what you need to do You need to find somebody crazy like you Someone you can fuss and fight with And when you make up then you can love all night with Someone who shares your particular point of view Oh they're bound to be crazy, just make sure they're crazy like you"
if nothing else - as Samantha says - "the crazy ones get all the good pills" ;-)
That girl has ISSUES. You name it – she’s obsessing over it, paranoid about it, or inappropriately sharing about it (often with complete strangers).
Now I can't say that I “relate” to everything that she goes through (or puts herself through)…but there’s a lot about women that men can take from this girl, while not gagging through Dr Phil or Oprah
[*side note* “Girls Next Door” does not count as a window into the thoughts of “real women”]
Point-in-case: Elliot’s an independent woman – making her own moola, while kicking ass (sometimes her own) and taking names. When, I ask you, does she turn into an emotional, clinging wet blanket …. when she falls IN LOVE!!!
There is something about falling in love, trusting someone that makes you vulnerable in ways you never dreamed possible. I’m talking about love, people, not sex. We all know sex makes you vulnerable – someone see you naked (if you’re doing it right)… and everyone has body issues. There’s technique to worry about, orgasms, staying afterwards, morning breath, and awkward goodbyes.
Love, however, entails feeling SO MUCH about this person that its almost sensory over-load…and believing that they love you back just as much. Love is so much that I can’t even get into it or even explain it in words because I would lose any hope of a focused train of thought (if I haven’t already). You know what love is… most of you have experienced it. If not, hope to God that you do find it at least once in your life… it’s horrible / wonderful / miserable / exhilarating all at once… and there is absolutely nothing like it in the entire world.
(keep in mind that this is coming from a woman jaded by a broken several year-long relationship… and I’m STILL saying this)
Elliot falls in love with Rick Schroeder who’s character’s name I cant remember (something Flowers). In her quest to make, keep, and maintain this relationship, she hides her “quirks”. Random inappropriate stupid thoughts/actions that are part of who she is. The point is that she hides it from him until she just can’t - and then it starts spilling over on people throughout the hospital.
Now the truth in that is that every woman at some point in some relationship has hidden part of who she is. Who hasn’t felt like you need to hide those “crazy” parts of you so that he can get to know because you just KNOW that if he gets to REALLY know you – those crazies won’t matter. Whether its alphabetizing your DVDs, arranging your closet by colors, wearing underwear with days of the week on it, or obsessively checking under the bed every night – there’s a “crazy” part in each of us.
I personally have been to both extremes while in love. 1st serious boyfriend – I was miss independent until I fell head over heels for him. As I envisioned our life together and matching monogrammed towels, things began to unravel. After one particularly impassioned argument, he informed me that my independence that he loved so much about me was gone and that my clingy, emotional-needy dependence on him was too much. Here I was believing that this guy was The One – how I loved being with him every day, talking to him every night, spending weekends and holidays together …only to be brutally faced with his version of me being “clingy”. Talk about harsh reality.
Zoom forward to rebound boyfriend – determined to keep my independence, I drove myself everywhere, refused to get attached to his family or spend any holidays with them. I spent weekends alone after assuring him how great it was that he go fishing with the guys, or to that concert. At this extreme, I was in a relationship and still felt alone. Worse yet – I was keeping those “crazies” of wanting to be with him and not telling him for fear of being “clingy”. Needless to say, when we broke up – he told me that he felt like I never let my guard down – and that I didn’t seem to want to be a part of his life and family.
hopefully my next turn on the relationship merry-go-round – I’ll manage to keep the balance. Fall in love, be with him, but keep my girlfriends so that I don’t become an emotional mess on the times we can’t be together – or to just enjoy time apart. I’m also not gonna keep all MY “crazies” in. If he can’t deal with my color-coded pantry organization system, he’s just not worth it. There’s a song playing on country radio called “crazy like you” by Josh Grider. It’s pretty much exactly how I feel about finding that guy -
"I say everybody's crazy so what you need to do You need to find somebody crazy like you Someone you can fuss and fight with And when you make up then you can love all night with Someone who shares your particular point of view Oh they're bound to be crazy, just make sure they're crazy like you"
if nothing else - as Samantha says - "the crazy ones get all the good pills" ;-)
7.22.2008
7.21.2008
lather, rinse, repeat. lather, rinse, repeat.
so its like i am swimming in the dating ocean, and i keep getting sucked into the same ole shitty riptide.
Lt gave me the whole " its not you, its me" speech. something about how his life is really confusing right now and he doenst want to drag me along when he doesnt know where he's gonna end up or if he's even in a place to be in a relationship right now.
okay i do acknowledge that his career has lately been totally twisted inside out and splattered against a wall, but the little voice in my head cant get the whole "he's just not that into you" line of thinking outta my head and that this is all a crock of shit. plus he got the standard "bj are for boyfriends" speech, and that rarely goes over well.
back to the proof: (1) why would you be dating if you didnt want to possibly be in a relationship. Dating LEADS to relationships (for most people, at least! men may still see it as the archaic equation of paying for dinner = putting out).
(2) the insecure voice in my head wonders if he jsut wasnt that attracted to me and somehow has reasoned that this is somehow an easier let down or less painful
(aka easier for the male, more confusing for the female)
WHY do i keep attracting losers, emotionally unavailable men or nymphomaniacs?!?! spare me the bullcrap of that i'm subconsciouly choosing these guys because i know that a relationship will never formate. for the first time in about 2 years, i actually feel ready to date. i like my life and i WANT someone to share it with. and i honestly thought I was doing a halfway good job of filtering out the freaks..... AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
i need to hire a matchmaker to do the dirty work for me and figure out all their neurosis BEFORE i date them!
Lt gave me the whole " its not you, its me" speech. something about how his life is really confusing right now and he doenst want to drag me along when he doesnt know where he's gonna end up or if he's even in a place to be in a relationship right now.
okay i do acknowledge that his career has lately been totally twisted inside out and splattered against a wall, but the little voice in my head cant get the whole "he's just not that into you" line of thinking outta my head and that this is all a crock of shit. plus he got the standard "bj are for boyfriends" speech, and that rarely goes over well.
back to the proof: (1) why would you be dating if you didnt want to possibly be in a relationship. Dating LEADS to relationships (for most people, at least! men may still see it as the archaic equation of paying for dinner = putting out).
(2) the insecure voice in my head wonders if he jsut wasnt that attracted to me and somehow has reasoned that this is somehow an easier let down or less painful
(aka easier for the male, more confusing for the female)
WHY do i keep attracting losers, emotionally unavailable men or nymphomaniacs?!?! spare me the bullcrap of that i'm subconsciouly choosing these guys because i know that a relationship will never formate. for the first time in about 2 years, i actually feel ready to date. i like my life and i WANT someone to share it with. and i honestly thought I was doing a halfway good job of filtering out the freaks..... AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
i need to hire a matchmaker to do the dirty work for me and figure out all their neurosis BEFORE i date them!
7.14.2008
meet Mister F
so... this guy (hence referred to as "F") has been tossed around in my mind for awhile now and i just cant get him out of my head.
we "met", interestingly enough, when i was bored, lonely, and had had enough wine to be brave - to make a myspace account. looked for anyone single (male or female) near my age (read: no old geezers or high school kids) that lived in this medium sized/socially-challenged town.
he accepted my friend request and actually sent me message ( just a standard "hey how's it going" ). we've talked on and off for a few months now. met for drinks. flirted a bit. and have had drinks a few times again since then. we have similar upbringings, have somewhat similar values, and both enjoy beer. plenty for a friendship.
so when we were out for drinks the other night, and he mentioned/ragged on this girl he dated a month ago (remember - thought he was single), i was thrown for a loop & didnt know what to say.
[side note: there are FEW times in this woman's life when she is speechless and cannot come up with a witty remark, or at the very least - a sharp sarcastic barb.]
what left me speechless was not that i didnt know about her. (we're just friends)
it was the reason why he abruptly brought her into the conversation
- is this to signal to me that he's now available?
- or is this because he's stuck for conversation, didnt want an awkward lull and grasped at a short straw...
as the legend goes, men are simple. so i know i'm over-analyzing what (and why) he said. but sometimes small miscommunications can lead to big losses. and i dont want to stumble over a subtle "signal" to put myself out there, or even just flirt more.
i need a male/female translation dictionary.
is Webster up for taking that on?
we "met", interestingly enough, when i was bored, lonely, and had had enough wine to be brave - to make a myspace account. looked for anyone single (male or female) near my age (read: no old geezers or high school kids) that lived in this medium sized/socially-challenged town.
he accepted my friend request and actually sent me message ( just a standard "hey how's it going" ). we've talked on and off for a few months now. met for drinks. flirted a bit. and have had drinks a few times again since then. we have similar upbringings, have somewhat similar values, and both enjoy beer. plenty for a friendship.
so when we were out for drinks the other night, and he mentioned/ragged on this girl he dated a month ago (remember - thought he was single), i was thrown for a loop & didnt know what to say.
[side note: there are FEW times in this woman's life when she is speechless and cannot come up with a witty remark, or at the very least - a sharp sarcastic barb.]
what left me speechless was not that i didnt know about her. (we're just friends)
it was the reason why he abruptly brought her into the conversation
- is this to signal to me that he's now available?
- or is this because he's stuck for conversation, didnt want an awkward lull and grasped at a short straw...
as the legend goes, men are simple. so i know i'm over-analyzing what (and why) he said. but sometimes small miscommunications can lead to big losses. and i dont want to stumble over a subtle "signal" to put myself out there, or even just flirt more.
i need a male/female translation dictionary.
is Webster up for taking that on?
7.07.2008
"aye aye captain"
so cute lieutenant and i have a date on the riverwalk. he's smart, witty, not psycho, no seemingly obvious flaws and looks like farve in the face (bonus pts).
hotel is booked (back up plan: friend's couch 30 mins away) and i'm letting myself get kinda psyched. still holding back for the inevitable letdown.
[side note: why cant i let myself believe that someone good is going to come along... and ACTUALLY be with me?!? hmm... could be the abandonment issues the 3yr ex abrubtly left me with...]
cant decide if i'm more excited about good mexican food and el mercado... or the lt
in other great (but expensive news) - bought a new (to me) car. that gets way better gas milage than the gray gremlin. :-)
hotel is booked (back up plan: friend's couch 30 mins away) and i'm letting myself get kinda psyched. still holding back for the inevitable letdown.
[side note: why cant i let myself believe that someone good is going to come along... and ACTUALLY be with me?!? hmm... could be the abandonment issues the 3yr ex abrubtly left me with...]
cant decide if i'm more excited about good mexican food and el mercado... or the lt
in other great (but expensive news) - bought a new (to me) car. that gets way better gas milage than the gray gremlin. :-)
7.02.2008
karma
"I am not one to chase fate. In my opinion, karma will be a BIGGER bitch than I choose to be."
i so wish i could believe this. If i had unprotected sex, i'd probably end up with a venereal disease. she ended up with B (now- her hot hubby) and a baby. what gives?
i think god says "no" to me being happy...
i so wish i could believe this. If i had unprotected sex, i'd probably end up with a venereal disease. she ended up with B (now- her hot hubby) and a baby. what gives?
i think god says "no" to me being happy...
6.30.2008
if you have XY chromosomes, pay attention. volume 1
okay 3 small lessons for members of the male gender. i'll start slow so not to overwhelm you...
(1) ignore the "3 day" rule after dates. technology has obliterated the effectiveness of not calling. we know you're on facebook, or twittering, or posting photos on myspace. what we dont understand is if you're into us, why you're not calling. so call... or risk being written off.
(2) if you're not into us, let us know right NOW! dont play games, string us along, or pretend to care about "hurting OUR feelings". sooner is better than later.
"hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." true then, still true today!
(3) be a gentleman. chivalry may, for all formal purposes, be dead. but in our deepest of hearts, we want the white knight to open the door, pay for dinner, and kiss us goodnight at our doorstep. if we're jonesing for more - have no fear - we'll pull you inside and rip your clothes off. :-)
class adjorned... for now
(1) ignore the "3 day" rule after dates. technology has obliterated the effectiveness of not calling. we know you're on facebook, or twittering, or posting photos on myspace. what we dont understand is if you're into us, why you're not calling. so call... or risk being written off.
(2) if you're not into us, let us know right NOW! dont play games, string us along, or pretend to care about "hurting OUR feelings". sooner is better than later.
"hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." true then, still true today!
(3) be a gentleman. chivalry may, for all formal purposes, be dead. but in our deepest of hearts, we want the white knight to open the door, pay for dinner, and kiss us goodnight at our doorstep. if we're jonesing for more - have no fear - we'll pull you inside and rip your clothes off. :-)
class adjorned... for now
6.26.2008
vini, vidi, vichi
i came, i saw, i lived
there ought to be a similar phrase for men. "i dated, tried on for size, none of them fit and i'm better off alone."
or so it seems lately....
not only has there been a dry spell lately, but the ones i am attracted to are (a) unavailable (b) all WRONG for me [read: hEaRtBrEaKe] or (c) live too fucking far away
which makes for a very horny, v-club card carrying member.
why do you always want what you can't have. or wont let yourself have....
sometimes the right decisions feel very WRONG
there ought to be a similar phrase for men. "i dated, tried on for size, none of them fit and i'm better off alone."
or so it seems lately....
not only has there been a dry spell lately, but the ones i am attracted to are (a) unavailable (b) all WRONG for me [read: hEaRtBrEaKe] or (c) live too fucking far away
which makes for a very horny, v-club card carrying member.
why do you always want what you can't have. or wont let yourself have....
sometimes the right decisions feel very WRONG
6.21.2008
second helpings of leftovers
so why disappear - only to re-appear a month later? when our same problems still prevent us from being togehter (N demands sex in a relationship. i'm not there yet)
and to add a cherry to this clusterfuck - he now lives hundreds of miles away. With the price of gas quickly approaching $4/gal, seeing each other is not easy on the wallet.
plus fitting his oversized head (giant ego included) in any non-giant house or car would be quite the feat. with his braggin about being able to pay for boob jobs (not that i was aware i needed, nor wanted one), that he could get me whatever i wanted - the ironic fact is that i simply want a man who loves me for me
and that, my friends, would be my 2nd helping of love. not cold nasty leftovers of a relationship that never turned out like the recipe said it would
and to add a cherry to this clusterfuck - he now lives hundreds of miles away. With the price of gas quickly approaching $4/gal, seeing each other is not easy on the wallet.
plus fitting his oversized head (giant ego included) in any non-giant house or car would be quite the feat. with his braggin about being able to pay for boob jobs (not that i was aware i needed, nor wanted one), that he could get me whatever i wanted - the ironic fact is that i simply want a man who loves me for me
and that, my friends, would be my 2nd helping of love. not cold nasty leftovers of a relationship that never turned out like the recipe said it would
6.09.2008
if only the good die young, i might live forever
so quotes are my thing. other people may have movie lines memorized, or sage advice to pass on.
But I like quotes.
Quotes are relateable.
Quotes are (usually) learned from experience - so learn from other's mistakes.
you dont have to re-invent the wheel.
when you dog chews up your fave red high heels - just remember "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. ~Josh Billings"
When a random hot guy asks "can have your number" dont think about the fact that he's probably drunk off his @$$, remember "In vino, veritas"
And when the ex love of your life knocks up his gf and then marries her, make this your mantra "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade - and find someone who life gave vodka"
so till next time, remember that "Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you smile, laugh as much as you breathe, and love as long as you live.”
But I like quotes.
Quotes are relateable.
Quotes are (usually) learned from experience - so learn from other's mistakes.
you dont have to re-invent the wheel.
when you dog chews up your fave red high heels - just remember "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. ~Josh Billings"
When a random hot guy asks "can have your number" dont think about the fact that he's probably drunk off his @$$, remember "In vino, veritas"
And when the ex love of your life knocks up his gf and then marries her, make this your mantra "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade - and find someone who life gave vodka"
so till next time, remember that "Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you smile, laugh as much as you breathe, and love as long as you live.”
5.18.2008
the truth about women...
so... im not plagarizing. (credited article/author )
this is an article i read on menshealth.com - and its fantastic. and SO TRUE. and i had to share! so read, learn and tuck away for your own secret knowledge. men can always use any help they can get when it comes to women! :-)
Secrets Every Woman Keeps From Her Man
All her naked, sexy (and a little scary) truths revealed
By: Kathryn Eisman
The woman you sleep with gazes into your eyes and tells you she loves you. And you believe her. You can tell by the way she looks at you, the way she holds you, the way she seems to always know what you want before you do. There are a couple of things in life you just know, and love and this naked woman are two of them.
But there are a lot of things you don't know.
A woman may give you her body and her heart, but there are parts that she'll never give up. Pieces woven into the very fiber of her being. Mysteries only hinted at in a passing sly smile, an inscrutable laugh. These are the secrets of lovers past, hidden fantasies, and unshared longings. A woman's deepest secrets that don't -- and never will -- include you.
You're about to sample this hidden knowledge. But like any man who seeks, you'd better be prepared for what you're about to find.
1) My best friend knows everything. She knows all of your vitals -- from the size of your bank account to the size of your other, um, holdings -- and she knows how both compare with those of every other man I've ever dated. I have done a hand-comparison measurement so I can divulge size and girth with a high level of accuracy. When my friend smirks at you knowingly, you are not imagining it. She knows. So just know that she knows, and deal with it. (It's not going to change.)
Ask her about me, or chat with her about our relationship, at your own risk. She will tell me. Even -- in fact, especially -- if she promises not to. This is not always a bad thing (e.g., if you happen to be telling her how much you love me). But, in general, remember that she is my confidante first, and yours never.
2) Just looking at your hands can turn me on.
3) When you go away, even for a day, I sleep in your favorite old T-shirt because it smells like you.
4) I'll never tell you exactly how many men I've slept with. No matter how sincere I appeared when I answered your question, chances are I wasn't. As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she's slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to seven. Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn't want to appear a floozy), but mostly it's sexual amnesia. When a woman wants to pretend an encounter never occurred, she simply scraps the man from her official score sheet. Common excuses that lead to such an omission: The actual sex lasted only a few thrusts; or she was drunk or on the rebound.
5) I fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before we actually first got naked.
6) I still think about my ex-boyfriends and compare them to you. Mostly you win. Sometimes not.
7) I have Googled your exes.
8) When I'm falling in love with you, I completely lose my appetite.
9) My body really isn't naturally this hairless and smooth all over. But I will never allow you to see any indication whatsoever of all the shaving, tweezing, waxing, exfoliating, and moisturizing that gets it this way.
10) I only appear to have it all together. My true organization (or lack thereof) is revealed in my closet, my makeup bag, my desk files.
11) I have discovered your porn stash and your frequently visited porn Web sites and think the things that turn you on are hilarious.
12) When I say, "I'm ready," I'll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. Don't try to cheat the system by showing up 7 minutes later; I will still need an extra 7 minutes.
13) When I say, "I'll meet you in 15 minutes," I mean I will leave in 15 minutes, and thus won't actually arrive for at least 30 (but probably more like 40).
14) You've made me cry more times than you'll ever know.
15) I obsess about when you're going to call me again. The period of time between our first date and your "Thanks for a great night; when can I see you again?" always seems stretched into slow motion. So don't worry about looking too eager. Call. Even if you only wait until noon the day after, it will feel like a lifetime to me. And don't send me an e-mail unless you want me to put you in the figurative trash can along with your message.
16) I want you to talk a little dirty.
17) At the beginning of our relationship, I save all of your voice mails and listen to them (and make my friends listen, too), repeatedly.
18) I might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave my legs because I like you. As crazy as it sounds, the more I like you, the less likely I am to sleep with you on an early date, because I don't want to sabotage having a "proper" relationship with you. So I just might purposely hunt out the ugliest underwear in my drawer and not shave my legs -- all to prevent myself from getting naked with you too soon. Sometimes I might get a little tipsy or carried away, and this plan will backfire.
19) I split the cost of my fashion purchases over two or more credit cards, so you don't notice the gargantuan deficit.
20) I'm constantly testing you. I observe, analyze, and judge every action, word, gesture, e-mail, and facial expression. When I ask you if you want to have a threesome, I don't mean it. If you want me to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you after this conversation, the answer should always be, "Why would I want to sleep with another woman when I have you?"
21) I check out your butt every time you leave the room.
22) I need constant indications that you want me around. That's why it's better, for example, to say, "I want you to come away with me for the weekend. Could you come with me?" than to ask, "What are you up to this weekend?"
23) I love it when you get a little jealous. So if you ever see me flirting in front of you with the waiter, the bus driver, or another guy at a party, know I'm actually flirting with you -- through him.
24) Even though I may complain that I don't see you enough (or that you work too hard), I find nothing sexier than watching you put on a suit in the morning and rush off to work.
25) I start fights with you because I'm feeling ignored. I'm trying to force emotion out of you. Don't retreat into your cave; just give me what I want: some attention. And never tell me to "calm down," unless you want to guarantee that I absolutely won't.
26) Even if I insist on paying or splitting the bill on our first date, I'll think you're cheap if you let me.
27) I may find your best friend repulsive, but I've fantasized about sleeping with him. Not because I want him, but because I want a piece of a guy who is so close to you.
28) If I'm going to break up with you, all of my friends know way before you do. I've been talking about it for 2 weeks.
29) If we do break up, I put all photographs of you and mementos of our relationship in a shoe box and store it in my closet. Just in case I get nostalgic. Just in case you come back.
30) I want you to take control in bed. Yes, I have a successful career, I'm financially independent, I live on my own, and I don't need a man to make me happy (in theory). I still want you to pick me up, carry me to the bedroom, and take without asking.
this is an article i read on menshealth.com - and its fantastic. and SO TRUE. and i had to share! so read, learn and tuck away for your own secret knowledge. men can always use any help they can get when it comes to women! :-)
Secrets Every Woman Keeps From Her Man
All her naked, sexy (and a little scary) truths revealed
By: Kathryn Eisman
The woman you sleep with gazes into your eyes and tells you she loves you. And you believe her. You can tell by the way she looks at you, the way she holds you, the way she seems to always know what you want before you do. There are a couple of things in life you just know, and love and this naked woman are two of them.
But there are a lot of things you don't know.
A woman may give you her body and her heart, but there are parts that she'll never give up. Pieces woven into the very fiber of her being. Mysteries only hinted at in a passing sly smile, an inscrutable laugh. These are the secrets of lovers past, hidden fantasies, and unshared longings. A woman's deepest secrets that don't -- and never will -- include you.
You're about to sample this hidden knowledge. But like any man who seeks, you'd better be prepared for what you're about to find.
1) My best friend knows everything. She knows all of your vitals -- from the size of your bank account to the size of your other, um, holdings -- and she knows how both compare with those of every other man I've ever dated. I have done a hand-comparison measurement so I can divulge size and girth with a high level of accuracy. When my friend smirks at you knowingly, you are not imagining it. She knows. So just know that she knows, and deal with it. (It's not going to change.)
Ask her about me, or chat with her about our relationship, at your own risk. She will tell me. Even -- in fact, especially -- if she promises not to. This is not always a bad thing (e.g., if you happen to be telling her how much you love me). But, in general, remember that she is my confidante first, and yours never.
2) Just looking at your hands can turn me on.
3) When you go away, even for a day, I sleep in your favorite old T-shirt because it smells like you.
4) I'll never tell you exactly how many men I've slept with. No matter how sincere I appeared when I answered your question, chances are I wasn't. As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she's slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to seven. Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn't want to appear a floozy), but mostly it's sexual amnesia. When a woman wants to pretend an encounter never occurred, she simply scraps the man from her official score sheet. Common excuses that lead to such an omission: The actual sex lasted only a few thrusts; or she was drunk or on the rebound.
5) I fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before we actually first got naked.
6) I still think about my ex-boyfriends and compare them to you. Mostly you win. Sometimes not.
7) I have Googled your exes.
8) When I'm falling in love with you, I completely lose my appetite.
9) My body really isn't naturally this hairless and smooth all over. But I will never allow you to see any indication whatsoever of all the shaving, tweezing, waxing, exfoliating, and moisturizing that gets it this way.
10) I only appear to have it all together. My true organization (or lack thereof) is revealed in my closet, my makeup bag, my desk files.
11) I have discovered your porn stash and your frequently visited porn Web sites and think the things that turn you on are hilarious.
12) When I say, "I'm ready," I'll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. Don't try to cheat the system by showing up 7 minutes later; I will still need an extra 7 minutes.
13) When I say, "I'll meet you in 15 minutes," I mean I will leave in 15 minutes, and thus won't actually arrive for at least 30 (but probably more like 40).
14) You've made me cry more times than you'll ever know.
15) I obsess about when you're going to call me again. The period of time between our first date and your "Thanks for a great night; when can I see you again?" always seems stretched into slow motion. So don't worry about looking too eager. Call. Even if you only wait until noon the day after, it will feel like a lifetime to me. And don't send me an e-mail unless you want me to put you in the figurative trash can along with your message.
16) I want you to talk a little dirty.
17) At the beginning of our relationship, I save all of your voice mails and listen to them (and make my friends listen, too), repeatedly.
18) I might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave my legs because I like you. As crazy as it sounds, the more I like you, the less likely I am to sleep with you on an early date, because I don't want to sabotage having a "proper" relationship with you. So I just might purposely hunt out the ugliest underwear in my drawer and not shave my legs -- all to prevent myself from getting naked with you too soon. Sometimes I might get a little tipsy or carried away, and this plan will backfire.
19) I split the cost of my fashion purchases over two or more credit cards, so you don't notice the gargantuan deficit.
20) I'm constantly testing you. I observe, analyze, and judge every action, word, gesture, e-mail, and facial expression. When I ask you if you want to have a threesome, I don't mean it. If you want me to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you after this conversation, the answer should always be, "Why would I want to sleep with another woman when I have you?"
21) I check out your butt every time you leave the room.
22) I need constant indications that you want me around. That's why it's better, for example, to say, "I want you to come away with me for the weekend. Could you come with me?" than to ask, "What are you up to this weekend?"
23) I love it when you get a little jealous. So if you ever see me flirting in front of you with the waiter, the bus driver, or another guy at a party, know I'm actually flirting with you -- through him.
24) Even though I may complain that I don't see you enough (or that you work too hard), I find nothing sexier than watching you put on a suit in the morning and rush off to work.
25) I start fights with you because I'm feeling ignored. I'm trying to force emotion out of you. Don't retreat into your cave; just give me what I want: some attention. And never tell me to "calm down," unless you want to guarantee that I absolutely won't.
26) Even if I insist on paying or splitting the bill on our first date, I'll think you're cheap if you let me.
27) I may find your best friend repulsive, but I've fantasized about sleeping with him. Not because I want him, but because I want a piece of a guy who is so close to you.
28) If I'm going to break up with you, all of my friends know way before you do. I've been talking about it for 2 weeks.
29) If we do break up, I put all photographs of you and mementos of our relationship in a shoe box and store it in my closet. Just in case I get nostalgic. Just in case you come back.
30) I want you to take control in bed. Yes, I have a successful career, I'm financially independent, I live on my own, and I don't need a man to make me happy (in theory). I still want you to pick me up, carry me to the bedroom, and take without asking.
4.30.2008
blasphamey
btwn 2 friends...
"i am so angry and so heartbroken. and i'm so MAD. and i'm angry at God for letting it happen. and guilty for being mad at God. but i still want to bitch-slap God. and i'm pretty sure that consititutes blasphemey and being damned to hell for eternity"
"i am so angry and so heartbroken. and i'm so MAD. and i'm angry at God for letting it happen. and guilty for being mad at God. but i still want to bitch-slap God. and i'm pretty sure that consititutes blasphemey and being damned to hell for eternity"
4.22.2008
weights & wanton women...err woman
working out makes me horny.
i REALLY have no idea why this is...
if its the exhausted, satisfied feeling i get when i'm done working out
the hot sweaty men
the sweaty sheen and smell
the way my muscles burn as endurance levels are pushed
the hot muscular men
the endorphins released
the hot strong men
obviously the hot men could be a big factor in why i pay the big corporate gym a chunk of change every month. i could kid myself and tell me its because it rains and i cant always run outside, or that i need strength training. but why kid a kidder.... i like the better view from my elliptical machine of the hot shirtless men rather than than the neighborhood park where the view consists of dads running with jogging strollers or old women who think they can pull off sports bras and spandex in broad daylight.
speaking of the gym, i see alot of guys i'd be interested in meeting. but i have no idea what to say to them... or even if i want to be that girl. see i've never been the girl that asks guys out. i have no issue with feminine wiles and flirting or batting my baby blues.... but i'm old-fashioned and southern. And asking for a date and proposing are 2 things that should always be taken care of by the GUY!
but i definitely wouldn't shoo a guy away if they came up to me in the gym- even just to meet me and get to know new ppl. I guess in my logic, a gym is less frightening because its a public place with lots of people around, everyone's in casual clothes, and there's music blaring. While sweat dripping down my face or worries over stray hairs/sweat stains do occasionally grip my paranoid mind... it seems easier to approach a someone in a gym than in other high-pressure cliche situations (bars!).
So if there are any guys reading - (a) take some advice, and try and at least tell your gym crush hello, and (b) tell me what to do to get MY gym crushes to talk to me (while NOT acting like a creeper/stalker).
till next time, please frequent your local gym and help make the world a prettier, healthier place. And if you know of any hot straight guys in your gym, send them to mine. thanks
i REALLY have no idea why this is...
if its the exhausted, satisfied feeling i get when i'm done working out
the hot sweaty men
the sweaty sheen and smell
the way my muscles burn as endurance levels are pushed
the hot muscular men
the endorphins released
the hot strong men
obviously the hot men could be a big factor in why i pay the big corporate gym a chunk of change every month. i could kid myself and tell me its because it rains and i cant always run outside, or that i need strength training. but why kid a kidder.... i like the better view from my elliptical machine of the hot shirtless men rather than than the neighborhood park where the view consists of dads running with jogging strollers or old women who think they can pull off sports bras and spandex in broad daylight.
this is especially perplexing to me because when i leave, the thought of someone kissing me when i'm all sweaty is not appealing. things change on that way home, when i crank up the club
music, dance along, and then all i want to do is mug down with a hottie and get our sweaty bodies together
speaking of the gym, i see alot of guys i'd be interested in meeting. but i have no idea what to say to them... or even if i want to be that girl. see i've never been the girl that asks guys out. i have no issue with feminine wiles and flirting or batting my baby blues.... but i'm old-fashioned and southern. And asking for a date and proposing are 2 things that should always be taken care of by the GUY!
but i definitely wouldn't shoo a guy away if they came up to me in the gym- even just to meet me and get to know new ppl. I guess in my logic, a gym is less frightening because its a public place with lots of people around, everyone's in casual clothes, and there's music blaring. While sweat dripping down my face or worries over stray hairs/sweat stains do occasionally grip my paranoid mind... it seems easier to approach a someone in a gym than in other high-pressure cliche situations (bars!).
So if there are any guys reading - (a) take some advice, and try and at least tell your gym crush hello, and (b) tell me what to do to get MY gym crushes to talk to me (while NOT acting like a creeper/stalker).
till next time, please frequent your local gym and help make the world a prettier, healthier place. And if you know of any hot straight guys in your gym, send them to mine. thanks
snuggles vs sex
so the conondrum of the ages is without a doubt:
women need to be close to want to have sex
and men need to have sex in order to feel close
how does one possibly reconcile these 2 extremes?
someone... or something... has to give.
i dont understand how, when that happens, someone doesnt feel resentful, or used, or something.. that just dooms the rest of whatever you had.
this girl's knee-deep in quicksand and feeling trapped......any advice or experiences learned are welcomed.
women need to be close to want to have sex
and men need to have sex in order to feel close
how does one possibly reconcile these 2 extremes?
someone... or something... has to give.
i dont understand how, when that happens, someone doesnt feel resentful, or used, or something.. that just dooms the rest of whatever you had.
this girl's knee-deep in quicksand and feeling trapped......any advice or experiences learned are welcomed.
4.17.2008
daydreams...
i'm daydreaming on a lazy afternoon....
daydreaming of amazing 1st dates,
that feeling of attraction,
catching someone's gaze from across the room,
first kisses,
movie dates on his couch,
sizzling chemistry,
getting asked out (ALWAYS an ego booster),
having a boyfriend,
holding hands,
vacations, birthdays, and holidays with that someone special,
making out (juvenile yet so enjoyable)
comfort level of having someone who has your back on bad days,
getting flowers.... and love notes,
sweating over meeting the family,
making a mess in the kitchen cooking dinner together... and leaving it till morning
late night walks in the park,
afternoon naps cuddled up on the couch together,
getting a wedding invitation addressed to you both,
obsessing, losing sleep and finally saying " i love you" for the first time,
camping trips together,
suprising him with breakfast in bed,
someone who worrys about you getting home safe... and calls to double check
spending the night at his place,
him spending the night at yours....and checking the closets for you,
having a date for your friends' weddings...who are ALL getting married,
wistfully making future plans with him,
the dream of having that love for the rest of your lives...
i miss all that. yeah, i miss being loved. but more than that, i miss loving someone else. i miss having that person to think about, consider, cook for, worry about, take care of, &.... love.
daydreaming of amazing 1st dates,
that feeling of attraction,
catching someone's gaze from across the room,
first kisses,
movie dates on his couch,
sizzling chemistry,
getting asked out (ALWAYS an ego booster),
having a boyfriend,
holding hands,
vacations, birthdays, and holidays with that someone special,
making out (juvenile yet so enjoyable)
comfort level of having someone who has your back on bad days,
getting flowers.... and love notes,
sweating over meeting the family,
making a mess in the kitchen cooking dinner together... and leaving it till morning
late night walks in the park,
afternoon naps cuddled up on the couch together,
getting a wedding invitation addressed to you both,
obsessing, losing sleep and finally saying " i love you" for the first time,
camping trips together,
suprising him with breakfast in bed,
someone who worrys about you getting home safe... and calls to double check
spending the night at his place,
him spending the night at yours....and checking the closets for you,
having a date for your friends' weddings...who are ALL getting married,
wistfully making future plans with him,
the dream of having that love for the rest of your lives...
i miss all that. yeah, i miss being loved. but more than that, i miss loving someone else. i miss having that person to think about, consider, cook for, worry about, take care of, &.... love.
4.14.2008
B-list boyfriends
“B” terms are rarely good for relationships. Breaks, BOYS (men are only slightly better) blubbering, break-ups, bitchiness, broken hearts, boo-hooing, baby’s mommas, boobs (somebody else’s that your boyfriend’s checking out) and blow-offs
When did I become the girl that guys blow-off? More importantly, when did it become okay to blow-off someone? I know things are awkward as @$$ after break-ups, or even “relationships” that never become anything… but that doesn’t make it okay to be a dick about it. As the saying goes “just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to be one”… this applies to asses and dicks.
B, the long-term ex, never spoke to me again (except to ruin my birthday once) after the “break” that became a break-UP.
D, the short-term ex, fronted the “lets stay friends” routine as well as the “we’ll still hang out” due to the fact that we had mutual friends. However, since our split, he went out of his way to avoid me. And to be honest, making it such a big damn deal made things worse.
P, the one-time date, kissed and never called again (which pissed me off so badly I posted about it)
Then there was N – the month-plus long relationship. this one might be bipolar – he’s happy and sweet and making future plans one day and the next day he’s angry and sulky and “not in the same life direction” as me. Gee-golly – I was “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” with this guy. That and he turned out to be a self-absorbed prick (preened on every date and actually told me how “lucky I was to be with him”).
Still, he could have at least called and admitted that he didn’t really have time/energy/mirror space for me or some other lame ass excuse… NOT just stop answering calls/texts and never speak to me again!
The latest disaster in dates-ville was a set-up by one of my engaged friends (no, I didn’t know it was a set-up when I agreed to it) and the guy NEVER even showed. My self-esteem hit a new low that night and I’ve got pictures to prove it.
Seriously people – it is NOT okay to blow someone off. Regardless of how hot you think I’m not, or whether the relationship is on the down-hill slide – we’re still all human beings and due at least a little respect and dignity.
So, to all listening males (even though I’m probably preaching to the choir) – get over yourself, be a man, and use the manners your momma raised you with!
So quit your Bitchin’, grows some Balls* – and you might earn yourself an A-list girlfriend!
[*Preferably balls the size Bob Stoops (best coach in college football) had during the A&M/OU game this past fall… that guy has cojones!]
When did I become the girl that guys blow-off? More importantly, when did it become okay to blow-off someone? I know things are awkward as @$$ after break-ups, or even “relationships” that never become anything… but that doesn’t make it okay to be a dick about it. As the saying goes “just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to be one”… this applies to asses and dicks.
B, the long-term ex, never spoke to me again (except to ruin my birthday once) after the “break” that became a break-UP.
D, the short-term ex, fronted the “lets stay friends” routine as well as the “we’ll still hang out” due to the fact that we had mutual friends. However, since our split, he went out of his way to avoid me. And to be honest, making it such a big damn deal made things worse.
P, the one-time date, kissed and never called again (which pissed me off so badly I posted about it)
Then there was N – the month-plus long relationship. this one might be bipolar – he’s happy and sweet and making future plans one day and the next day he’s angry and sulky and “not in the same life direction” as me. Gee-golly – I was “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” with this guy. That and he turned out to be a self-absorbed prick (preened on every date and actually told me how “lucky I was to be with him”).
Still, he could have at least called and admitted that he didn’t really have time/energy/mirror space for me or some other lame ass excuse… NOT just stop answering calls/texts and never speak to me again!
The latest disaster in dates-ville was a set-up by one of my engaged friends (no, I didn’t know it was a set-up when I agreed to it) and the guy NEVER even showed. My self-esteem hit a new low that night and I’ve got pictures to prove it.
Seriously people – it is NOT okay to blow someone off. Regardless of how hot you think I’m not, or whether the relationship is on the down-hill slide – we’re still all human beings and due at least a little respect and dignity.
So, to all listening males (even though I’m probably preaching to the choir) – get over yourself, be a man, and use the manners your momma raised you with!
So quit your Bitchin’, grows some Balls* – and you might earn yourself an A-list girlfriend!
[*Preferably balls the size Bob Stoops (best coach in college football) had during the A&M/OU game this past fall… that guy has cojones!]
3.24.2008
Ode to Singleness
- Sleeping late on Saturday with only your own obligations to blow off
- Rationalizing tequila as a vegetable because it comes from the agave plant
- Burning dinner… and not stressing over anyone going hungry or being grumpy
' - being a “sports enthusiast” when there are cute guys at a sports bar
- Buying the “good stuff” & not having to share it with anyone else (*this applies to food, wine/ liquor)
- S&TC & chick flicks marathons
- Eating ice cream any time of night, picking out all the cookies outta the cookies-n-cream, AND leaving the bowl on the nightstand.
- Getting your drinks bought… even if it’s a guy you’d never go out with
- No (future) mom-in-laws who “admire” your “birthing” hips or criticize everything about you
- Listening to really bad music and singing along off-key without criticism about your taste in music… or your voice
- “having hot revenge sex with total strangers” (nod to the greatness that is 27 Dresses )
- the toilet seat ALWAYS being in the correct position
- Only your own dysfunctional family to deal with at holidays and long weekends
- Sole possession of the remote control
- No annoying whisker hairs all over the sink (*or for the guys – no rings of leg hair around the tub)
- VEGAS baby!
2.25.2008
scary real or real scary
Feet throbbing, head pounding – “I’m getting too old for this shit”. Apparently booty-bump dancing, waltzing and 2-stepping till 2am and then continued “festivities” till 4am was getting to be too much for this lady.
After a girls’ night out, I was too pooped to pop.
But sleep eluded me. 4 am, I finally drifted off to sleep – only to wake up 7am (an annoyance that ALWAYS happens when I drink!).
Sleep eluded me because as much as fun as I had, I spent a lot of time watching the door.
Waiting for an ex to walk in and trying to avoid an awkward situation that never even occurred.
I feel like I’ve spent so much of my life, looking over my shoulder…
waiting for the other shoe to drop.
When does that end? Or maybe more importantly, when did that start?!?!
When did life become scary instead of exciting?
When did the fear of failure start ruling my life?
I realize as a “realist”, I tend to focus on the “most likely” event but sometimes I miss the little kid in me that believed in miracles and dreams coming true.
Even the dating game has become scary.
Dating used to be butterflies in my stomach, talking for hours on end, late night walks, huge grins every time you think of him, and dates were things to look forward to – not to obsess and worry over.
Fear of failure –
I wish there was a magical wizard like in the Wizard of Oz (no Pink Floyd included)…
that could give me a brand-new (un-jaded) heart… and maybe a little bit of courage too.
And maybe a masseuse – I could really go for a foot rub right about now.
Till next time – "work like you don’t need the money, love like your heart’s never been broken, and dance like nobody’s watching".
After a girls’ night out, I was too pooped to pop.
But sleep eluded me. 4 am, I finally drifted off to sleep – only to wake up 7am (an annoyance that ALWAYS happens when I drink!).
Sleep eluded me because as much as fun as I had, I spent a lot of time watching the door.
Waiting for an ex to walk in and trying to avoid an awkward situation that never even occurred.
I feel like I’ve spent so much of my life, looking over my shoulder…
waiting for the other shoe to drop.
When does that end? Or maybe more importantly, when did that start?!?!
When did life become scary instead of exciting?
When did the fear of failure start ruling my life?
I realize as a “realist”, I tend to focus on the “most likely” event but sometimes I miss the little kid in me that believed in miracles and dreams coming true.
Even the dating game has become scary.
Dating used to be butterflies in my stomach, talking for hours on end, late night walks, huge grins every time you think of him, and dates were things to look forward to – not to obsess and worry over.
Fear of failure –
- aka never finding Mr Right,
- fear of rejection,
- fear of commitment,
- fear of loneliness,
- fear of “settling”…
I wish there was a magical wizard like in the Wizard of Oz (no Pink Floyd included)…
that could give me a brand-new (un-jaded) heart… and maybe a little bit of courage too.
And maybe a masseuse – I could really go for a foot rub right about now.
Till next time – "work like you don’t need the money, love like your heart’s never been broken, and dance like nobody’s watching".
2.09.2008
rain
Jolted awake, heart beating out my chest, the storm had arrived.
As the thunder boomed and the lightening flashed through my window, the rain and my emotions swirled in the thick air.
Startled by the storm, my departure from the lovely land of zzzs was not solely due to the wrath of Mother Nature.
I was also aware of the very realistic, very disturbing dream that had me fitfully sleeping.
Frustrated that I slept so poorly after exhausting myself at the gym, the memories of the dream swept over me.
To preface this, the ex from the several year-long relationship had recently updated to “in a relationship” on facebook. For someone who got no closure and whose heart has YET to listen to her head, this was at the very least - a shake up. On one hand, I had so badly wanted him to admit that he screwed up, that he wanted me back – even though I knew that the trust was too badly broken to ever repair the damage. I wanted to blow him off like I felt like he blew our relationship off. [he did literally never talk to me again.]
That has left me wondering if
And part of me IS glad that I experienced real love (from my side) at least once in my lifetime… (still hoping to feel that way with someone again). There is nothing in the world as magical and incredible feeling as loving someone.
But the other part of me wishes that I had never met him, never felt that way, and never come out so jaded.
Back to the dream, I was in a college dorm apartment – the one Zach, Slater and Screech had on Saved by The Bell – College Years. (yes, I am a proud child of the 90’s sitcoms).
My roommate Cassie and I are getting along great.
Shopping, running, studying – generally becoming best of friends.
Anyways – next day, she wants me to meet her boyfriend – who, of course, turns out to be none other than my ex.
She tries to explain in earnest how this changes nothing, how we can still be friends.
Tears are streaming down my face and my mascara is running like the delusional Britney fan (note: watch Tosh.0 if you dont already!).
My heart is being ripped out of my chest while still beating (like in Indiana Jones movie).
And all I can think about is how I also want to punch her in the throat. Oh, and cut his cojones off.
As I lay there trying to sleep after that emotional nightmare, I realize how much the rain cleans away– dust, dropped food on the sidewalk, squashed bugs on my windshield…
and I hope that likewise - time cleans away some of my emotional baggage.
This girl wants to focus, not on what shaped who she’s become – but where she’s going and who she has yet to be.
I’m also enjoying “Saved by the Bell” which just came on TBS – Slater is still a HOTTIE!
Till next time - "listen to the thunder, be mesmerized by lightening and dance in the rain."
As the thunder boomed and the lightening flashed through my window, the rain and my emotions swirled in the thick air.
Startled by the storm, my departure from the lovely land of zzzs was not solely due to the wrath of Mother Nature.
I was also aware of the very realistic, very disturbing dream that had me fitfully sleeping.
Frustrated that I slept so poorly after exhausting myself at the gym, the memories of the dream swept over me.
To preface this, the ex from the several year-long relationship had recently updated to “in a relationship” on facebook. For someone who got no closure and whose heart has YET to listen to her head, this was at the very least - a shake up. On one hand, I had so badly wanted him to admit that he screwed up, that he wanted me back – even though I knew that the trust was too badly broken to ever repair the damage. I wanted to blow him off like I felt like he blew our relationship off. [he did literally never talk to me again.]
That has left me wondering if
- (a) he never loved me and just lied for years or
- (b) if I was so un-memorable that he fell out of love with you and never looked back.
And part of me IS glad that I experienced real love (from my side) at least once in my lifetime… (still hoping to feel that way with someone again). There is nothing in the world as magical and incredible feeling as loving someone.
But the other part of me wishes that I had never met him, never felt that way, and never come out so jaded.
Back to the dream, I was in a college dorm apartment – the one Zach, Slater and Screech had on Saved by The Bell – College Years. (yes, I am a proud child of the 90’s sitcoms).
My roommate Cassie and I are getting along great.
Shopping, running, studying – generally becoming best of friends.
Anyways – next day, she wants me to meet her boyfriend – who, of course, turns out to be none other than my ex.
She tries to explain in earnest how this changes nothing, how we can still be friends.
Tears are streaming down my face and my mascara is running like the delusional Britney fan (note: watch Tosh.0 if you dont already!).
My heart is being ripped out of my chest while still beating (like in Indiana Jones movie).
And all I can think about is how I also want to punch her in the throat. Oh, and cut his cojones off.
As I lay there trying to sleep after that emotional nightmare, I realize how much the rain cleans away– dust, dropped food on the sidewalk, squashed bugs on my windshield…
and I hope that likewise - time cleans away some of my emotional baggage.
This girl wants to focus, not on what shaped who she’s become – but where she’s going and who she has yet to be.
I’m also enjoying “Saved by the Bell” which just came on TBS – Slater is still a HOTTIE!
Till next time - "listen to the thunder, be mesmerized by lightening and dance in the rain."
2.05.2008
the donkey & the elephant
so... wondering minds need to know:
what is the fascination with showing up at political rallies or primaries? Why spend hours in a crowded room with dorks and fanatics to see a person full of hot air speak of empty promises that they will most likely renege on? I don't get the appeal.
To be fair - I dont understand the obsession with celebrities either. Why dress up to go to a movie premiere where you stand around in the rain or heat admiring other people (they're just humans too) when you can see the movie at the theater (while wearing sweats if so desired) in a couple weeks?
While I love this country and democracy (yes, even with all of its' flaws), I don't understand the crowd-mentality surrounding the candidates. Before TV, it was a necessity to reach the audience through public speeches, publishing articles in newspapers, etc. But that was back when they said a man in a wheelchair would have never been elected president had the general public had access to television like we do today. Nowadays - those reasons simply don't exist anymore. We have television, radio, internet, widespread world-wide newspapers and periodicals of all sorts. If you have a message - you can get it out there. And don't give me crap about "connecting with constituents". Politicians are consistent, if on nothing else, about forgetting about where they come from and who they represent. Most of them lie/fib, cheat and "steal" to get into office. Mainly because of the power trip they get from holding a public office. An honest politician is about as rare as a snowstorm in Phoenix.
And with all the slimy, underhanded, and borderline-ethical methods that come along with campaigning now - is it even worth showing up? Candidates are planting people to ask questions that they have pre-planned politically correct answers to. Are you truly passionate about the process or do you just get drawn in by the power and magnetic personalities of the candidates - one of whom will be the most powerful man/woman of the United States come November?
i guess i'm just curious what propels people to get off their butt and come to political events. Seeing that our nation is almost at an obesity epidemic - people won't get off the couch and their butts in gear/exercise to save their lives - although, that curiously, is the thing that would save their lives. Pondering minds (probably just mine) wonder what this magical force is that surrounds politics. This curiosity could also be sheer annoyance because all "super tuesday" means is that Scrubs got scrubbed tonight... but I digress. Either way, politics at this stage is alot of bullshit. And the saying goes around here "you can't bullshit a bullshitter."
till next time... donkey or elephant - it's a ride either way.
what is the fascination with showing up at political rallies or primaries? Why spend hours in a crowded room with dorks and fanatics to see a person full of hot air speak of empty promises that they will most likely renege on? I don't get the appeal.
To be fair - I dont understand the obsession with celebrities either. Why dress up to go to a movie premiere where you stand around in the rain or heat admiring other people (they're just humans too) when you can see the movie at the theater (while wearing sweats if so desired) in a couple weeks?
While I love this country and democracy (yes, even with all of its' flaws), I don't understand the crowd-mentality surrounding the candidates. Before TV, it was a necessity to reach the audience through public speeches, publishing articles in newspapers, etc. But that was back when they said a man in a wheelchair would have never been elected president had the general public had access to television like we do today. Nowadays - those reasons simply don't exist anymore. We have television, radio, internet, widespread world-wide newspapers and periodicals of all sorts. If you have a message - you can get it out there. And don't give me crap about "connecting with constituents". Politicians are consistent, if on nothing else, about forgetting about where they come from and who they represent. Most of them lie/fib, cheat and "steal" to get into office. Mainly because of the power trip they get from holding a public office. An honest politician is about as rare as a snowstorm in Phoenix.
And with all the slimy, underhanded, and borderline-ethical methods that come along with campaigning now - is it even worth showing up? Candidates are planting people to ask questions that they have pre-planned politically correct answers to. Are you truly passionate about the process or do you just get drawn in by the power and magnetic personalities of the candidates - one of whom will be the most powerful man/woman of the United States come November?
i guess i'm just curious what propels people to get off their butt and come to political events. Seeing that our nation is almost at an obesity epidemic - people won't get off the couch and their butts in gear/exercise to save their lives - although, that curiously, is the thing that would save their lives. Pondering minds (probably just mine) wonder what this magical force is that surrounds politics. This curiosity could also be sheer annoyance because all "super tuesday" means is that Scrubs got scrubbed tonight... but I digress. Either way, politics at this stage is alot of bullshit. And the saying goes around here "you can't bullshit a bullshitter."
till next time... donkey or elephant - it's a ride either way.
2.03.2008
mad southern lady
I wanted to write about Southern gentlemen - the ones that open doors, ask you out over the phone, use the manners their mommas raised them with, and walk you to your door at the end of the night. But right now I'm madder than a bull seeing red and I dont have anything nice to say about men in general. I had a date with a guy a while ago and he never called...or even taken the low road and texted/emailed. It's way past the 3 day rule... and I'm not playing those games.
So I'll write about southern men in another post, when I have something good to say about them. Maybe in the mean time, I'll find one who still has some cojones.
Now I know ya'll have all had a bad date (or if you're like me - several bad dates) but there is no excuse or even logical explanation for this. It's unrealistic to get upset when things are ambivalent at the end of the date. If you get the one-armed hug instead of a kiss, you might expect a blow off. Or if things didn't go well. If I'd gotten plastered, or moaned about all my exes, or scarier yet... had our kids named by the end of the 1st date- those would at least be valid reasons. But that's not what happened. He asked ME out... presumably because he liked me at least a little. We spent a few hours having fun and flirting.. And when we walked out to our cars -it was HIM that came in for the real kiss (not just the peck on the cheek I offered). For a guy who ranked honesty as one of his top personality traits, and proceeded to be brutally honest in the time that I knew him - I'm flabberghasted.
And pissed off. If things aren't going well - don't kiss me. If you're not feeling it - man up and say that. Guys love to gripe about girls playing games and stringing guys along but from my recent expiriences... it's the guys that are playing all the games. This girl's not into playing the games... and it sucks to meet a guy that pretends like he doesnt either. Be who you are and stay true to that.
So I'll write about southern men in another post, when I have something good to say about them. Maybe in the mean time, I'll find one who still has some cojones.
till next time - here's to hoping your dates aren't yellow-bellied, castrated cowards like mine.
"Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man." [Erica Jong]
2.02.2008
i'm happiest when i'm sleeping
I was a big fan of grey’s anatomy from the get-go, before it became the monstrosity it currently is. The quotable lines and “sage advice” was what endeared the show to its' viewers. One of my favorites went something along the lines of “Sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes... learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."
Now I love the concept of trying again after failure – there are tons of quotes, advice and engraved tablets on the subject. “Gotta get back on the horse”, “turn the other cheek”, & “success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" [Churchill] are just a few of the millions that probably exist. But I’ve found – as have probably many of you – that the concept is much easier in theory than in practice.
Sometimes you’ve just been burned too many times in relationships to even try “getting back on the horse”. I mean – if you think about – almost every person you ever date will lie at some point. My favorite is the “I’ll love you forever”. Since the majority of your relationships do not and will not last forever, or even a significant percentage of your life – there is little chance that will ever become true. Now many will call me a cynic – a term I do not deny (although I prefer “realist”). But the truth is that most, if not all, of your exes will go on to love again. And while a few may continue to care about you and your happiness after the relationship has dissolved (something I have YET to experience), most will go out of their way to avoid seeing or speaking to you again – much less still loving you. As a believer in true love and hopeful to find it again in this decade, I simply wish people would use more discretion in saying words like that. If those words were used with more caution and greater awareness, perhaps everyone would come out less jaded. And yes, I do want someone to tell me those words again… but I’d rather it not be anyone else than who I marry. Because that’s the only one in my life who has a chance of not making it into another little white relationship lie.
Back to old Ben’s sage advice – there are times in life where when being blissfully unaware IS better than knowing, when trying again is just TOO damn scary, and sleeping IS better than waking. When you’re sleeping, you don’t lose people you love, beloved pets aren’t missing, there are no financial worries, or cancer scares. And I think it’s okay to have those times in your life. Sometimes you need to just shut out the world, grieve, heal, meditate – whatever. But the best time is the in-between of sleeping and waking. In that half state of consciousness/nirvana – there exists the easiness of dream world and the wonderful possibilities that lie waiting in the real world.
till next time… "Seventy percent of success in life is showing up." [Woody Allen] – so try not to sleep through too much of it.
Now I love the concept of trying again after failure – there are tons of quotes, advice and engraved tablets on the subject. “Gotta get back on the horse”, “turn the other cheek”, & “success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" [Churchill] are just a few of the millions that probably exist. But I’ve found – as have probably many of you – that the concept is much easier in theory than in practice.
Sometimes you’ve just been burned too many times in relationships to even try “getting back on the horse”. I mean – if you think about – almost every person you ever date will lie at some point. My favorite is the “I’ll love you forever”. Since the majority of your relationships do not and will not last forever, or even a significant percentage of your life – there is little chance that will ever become true. Now many will call me a cynic – a term I do not deny (although I prefer “realist”). But the truth is that most, if not all, of your exes will go on to love again. And while a few may continue to care about you and your happiness after the relationship has dissolved (something I have YET to experience), most will go out of their way to avoid seeing or speaking to you again – much less still loving you. As a believer in true love and hopeful to find it again in this decade, I simply wish people would use more discretion in saying words like that. If those words were used with more caution and greater awareness, perhaps everyone would come out less jaded. And yes, I do want someone to tell me those words again… but I’d rather it not be anyone else than who I marry. Because that’s the only one in my life who has a chance of not making it into another little white relationship lie.
Back to old Ben’s sage advice – there are times in life where when being blissfully unaware IS better than knowing, when trying again is just TOO damn scary, and sleeping IS better than waking. When you’re sleeping, you don’t lose people you love, beloved pets aren’t missing, there are no financial worries, or cancer scares. And I think it’s okay to have those times in your life. Sometimes you need to just shut out the world, grieve, heal, meditate – whatever. But the best time is the in-between of sleeping and waking. In that half state of consciousness/nirvana – there exists the easiness of dream world and the wonderful possibilities that lie waiting in the real world.
till next time… "Seventy percent of success in life is showing up." [Woody Allen] – so try not to sleep through too much of it.
1.29.2008
the fundamentals
hey ya'll
thought i'd start with a few of the basics about me
I believe that marriage should last a lifetime.
Any decorating with cats is tacky.
French vanilla hot cocoa is the best
Ads that fall out of magazines annoy me
So do the ones that follow as you scroll down a page
Flirting comes second only to kissing
Cheap beer and keg stands are for college guys – if you’re not in college, don’t go there
Dogs are a girl’s best friend – as is sexy perfume
I believe succeeding in love, not careers or money, is what makes your life a success
Any houseplant ever given to me has died. I do not have a green thumb
And as a manner of speaking, houseplants are generally not a good gift to give to a single woman – wine is much more appreciated and more useful
Heels are about how they make you feel, not how silly you look wearing them
I want a manly man – not a “metrosexual” or “girlie man”… nor one who hasn't cut the umbilical cord yet
Keeping up with technology challenges me… and frustrates me
Dancing makes me feel free and young again… too bad I’m too scared of looking stupid too much of the time to enjoy it every chance I get.
Powdered donuts make every crisis better…. that or whiskey & coke
I am thus far a failure at relationships… but it only takes one time to be a success
Useless trivia fascinates me… as do the people who memorize it
I know nothing about blogging… will say stupid things, probably offend at least a few people. But no one’s forcing you to read this – if you don’t like it , don’t read it.
Feel free to post comments, thoughts, personal expiriences, etc. No ads or spam, please.
till next time…
thought i'd start with a few of the basics about me
I believe that marriage should last a lifetime.
Any decorating with cats is tacky.
French vanilla hot cocoa is the best
Ads that fall out of magazines annoy me
So do the ones that follow as you scroll down a page
Flirting comes second only to kissing
Cheap beer and keg stands are for college guys – if you’re not in college, don’t go there
Dogs are a girl’s best friend – as is sexy perfume
I believe succeeding in love, not careers or money, is what makes your life a success
Any houseplant ever given to me has died. I do not have a green thumb
And as a manner of speaking, houseplants are generally not a good gift to give to a single woman – wine is much more appreciated and more useful
Heels are about how they make you feel, not how silly you look wearing them
I want a manly man – not a “metrosexual” or “girlie man”… nor one who hasn't cut the umbilical cord yet
Keeping up with technology challenges me… and frustrates me
Dancing makes me feel free and young again… too bad I’m too scared of looking stupid too much of the time to enjoy it every chance I get.
Powdered donuts make every crisis better…. that or whiskey & coke
I am thus far a failure at relationships… but it only takes one time to be a success
Useless trivia fascinates me… as do the people who memorize it
I know nothing about blogging… will say stupid things, probably offend at least a few people. But no one’s forcing you to read this – if you don’t like it , don’t read it.
Feel free to post comments, thoughts, personal expiriences, etc. No ads or spam, please.
till next time…
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