so its like i am swimming in the dating ocean, and i keep getting sucked into the same ole shitty riptide.
Lt gave me the whole " its not you, its me" speech. something about how his life is really confusing right now and he doenst want to drag me along when he doesnt know where he's gonna end up or if he's even in a place to be in a relationship right now.
okay i do acknowledge that his career has lately been totally twisted inside out and splattered against a wall, but the little voice in my head cant get the whole "he's just not that into you" line of thinking outta my head and that this is all a crock of shit. plus he got the standard "bj are for boyfriends" speech, and that rarely goes over well.
back to the proof: (1) why would you be dating if you didnt want to possibly be in a relationship. Dating LEADS to relationships (for most people, at least! men may still see it as the archaic equation of paying for dinner = putting out).
(2) the insecure voice in my head wonders if he jsut wasnt that attracted to me and somehow has reasoned that this is somehow an easier let down or less painful
(aka easier for the male, more confusing for the female)
WHY do i keep attracting losers, emotionally unavailable men or nymphomaniacs?!?! spare me the bullcrap of that i'm subconsciouly choosing these guys because i know that a relationship will never formate. for the first time in about 2 years, i actually feel ready to date. i like my life and i WANT someone to share it with. and i honestly thought I was doing a halfway good job of filtering out the freaks..... AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
i need to hire a matchmaker to do the dirty work for me and figure out all their neurosis BEFORE i date them!
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