if you have XY chromosomes, pay attention. volume 1

okay 3 small lessons for members of the male gender. i'll start slow so not to overwhelm you...

(1) ignore the "3 day" rule after dates. technology has obliterated the effectiveness of not calling. we know you're on facebook, or twittering, or posting photos on myspace. what we dont understand is if you're into us, why you're not calling. so call... or risk being written off.

(2) if you're not into us, let us know right NOW! dont play games, string us along, or pretend to care about "hurting OUR feelings". sooner is better than later.
"hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." true then, still true today!

(3) be a gentleman. chivalry may, for all formal purposes, be dead. but in our deepest of hearts, we want the white knight to open the door, pay for dinner, and kiss us goodnight at our doorstep. if we're jonesing for more - have no fear - we'll pull you inside and rip your clothes off. :-)

class adjorned... for now

vini, vidi, vichi

i came, i saw, i lived
there ought to be a similar phrase for men. "i dated, tried on for size, none of them fit and i'm better off alone."
or so it seems lately....
not only has there been a dry spell lately, but the ones i am attracted to are (a) unavailable (b) all WRONG for me [read: hEaRtBrEaKe] or (c) live too fucking far away
which makes for a very horny, v-club card carrying member.
why do you always want what you can't have. or wont let yourself have....
sometimes the right decisions feel very WRONG

second helpings of leftovers

so why disappear - only to re-appear a month later? when our same problems still prevent us from being togehter (N demands sex in a relationship. i'm not there yet)
and to add a cherry to this clusterfuck - he now lives hundreds of miles away. With the price of gas quickly approaching $4/gal, seeing each other is not easy on the wallet.
plus fitting his oversized head (giant ego included) in any non-giant house or car would be quite the feat. with his braggin about being able to pay for boob jobs (not that i was aware i needed, nor wanted one), that he could get me whatever i wanted - the ironic fact is that i simply want a man who loves me for me
and that, my friends, would be my 2nd helping of love. not cold nasty leftovers of a relationship that never turned out like the recipe said it would

if only the good die young, i might live forever

so quotes are my thing. other people may have movie lines memorized, or sage advice to pass on.
But I like quotes.
Quotes are relateable.
Quotes are (usually) learned from experience - so learn from other's mistakes.
you dont have to re-invent the wheel.

when you dog chews up your fave red high heels - just remember "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. ~Josh Billings"

When a random hot guy asks "can have your number" dont think about the fact that he's probably drunk off his @$$, remember "In vino, veritas"

And when the ex love of your life knocks up his gf and then marries her, make this your mantra "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade - and find someone who life gave vodka"

so till next time, remember that "Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you smile, laugh as much as you breathe, and love as long as you live.”