I was a big fan of grey’s anatomy from the get-go, before it became the monstrosity it currently is. The quotable lines and “sage advice” was what endeared the show to its' viewers. One of my favorites went something along the lines of “Sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes... learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."
Now I love the concept of trying again after failure – there are tons of quotes, advice and engraved tablets on the subject. “Gotta get back on the horse”, “turn the other cheek”, & “success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" [Churchill] are just a few of the millions that probably exist. But I’ve found – as have probably many of you – that the concept is much easier in theory than in practice.
Sometimes you’ve just been burned too many times in relationships to even try “getting back on the horse”. I mean – if you think about – almost every person you ever date will lie at some point. My favorite is the “I’ll love you forever”. Since the majority of your relationships do not and will not last forever, or even a significant percentage of your life – there is little chance that will ever become true. Now many will call me a cynic – a term I do not deny (although I prefer “realist”). But the truth is that most, if not all, of your exes will go on to love again. And while a few may continue to care about you and your happiness after the relationship has dissolved (something I have YET to experience), most will go out of their way to avoid seeing or speaking to you again – much less still loving you. As a believer in true love and hopeful to find it again in this decade, I simply wish people would use more discretion in saying words like that. If those words were used with more caution and greater awareness, perhaps everyone would come out less jaded. And yes, I do want someone to tell me those words again… but I’d rather it not be anyone else than who I marry. Because that’s the only one in my life who has a chance of not making it into another little white relationship lie.
Back to old Ben’s sage advice – there are times in life where when being blissfully unaware IS better than knowing, when trying again is just TOO damn scary, and sleeping IS better than waking. When you’re sleeping, you don’t lose people you love, beloved pets aren’t missing, there are no financial worries, or cancer scares. And I think it’s okay to have those times in your life. Sometimes you need to just shut out the world, grieve, heal, meditate – whatever. But the best time is the in-between of sleeping and waking. In that half state of consciousness/nirvana – there exists the easiness of dream world and the wonderful possibilities that lie waiting in the real world.
till next time… "Seventy percent of success in life is showing up." [Woody Allen] – so try not to sleep through too much of it.
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