Anyone ever watched the hilarious quirky comedy Scrubs? If so you know Elliot – the girl that the adorable Zach Braff character is in (and out of) love with.
That girl has ISSUES. You name it – she’s obsessing over it, paranoid about it, or inappropriately sharing about it (often with complete strangers).
Now I can't say that I “relate” to everything that she goes through (or puts herself through)…but there’s a lot about women that men can take from this girl,
while not gagging through Dr Phil or Oprah
[*side note* “Girls Next Door” does not count as a window into the thoughts of “real women”]
Point-in-case: Elliot’s an independent woman – making her own moola, while kicking ass (sometimes her own) and taking names. When, I ask you, does she turn into an emotional, clinging wet blanket …. when she falls IN LOVE!!!
There is something about falling in love, trusting someone that makes you vulnerable in ways you never dreamed possible. I’m talking about love, people, not sex. We all know sex makes you vulnerable – someone see you naked (
if you’re doing it right)… and everyone has body issues. There’s technique to worry about, orgasms, staying afterwards, morning breath, and awkward goodbyes.
Love, however, entails feeling SO MUCH about this person that its almost sensory over-load…and believing that they love you back just as much. Love is so much that I can’t even get into it or even explain it in words because I would lose any hope of a focused train of thought
(if I haven’t already). You know what love is… most of you have experienced it. If not, hope to God that you do find it at least once in your life… it’s horrible / wonderful / miserable / exhilarating
all at once… and there is
absolutely nothing like it in the entire world.
(keep in mind that this is coming from a woman jaded by a broken several year-long relationship… and I’m STILL saying this)
Elliot falls in love with Rick Schroeder who’s character’s name I cant remember
(something Flowers). In her quest to make, keep, and maintain this relationship, she hides her “quirks”. Random inappropriate stupid thoughts/actions that are part of who she is. The point is that she hides it from him until she just can’t - and then it starts spilling over on people throughout the hospital.
Now the truth in that is that every woman at some point in some relationship has hidden part of who she is. Who hasn’t felt like you need to hide those “crazy” parts of you so that he can get to know because you just KNOW that if he gets to REALLY know you – those crazies won’t matter. Whether its alphabetizing your DVDs, arranging your closet by colors, wearing underwear with days of the week on it, or obsessively checking under the bed every night – there’s a “crazy” part in each of us.
I personally have been to both extremes while in love. 1st serious boyfriend – I was miss independent until I fell head over heels for him. As I envisioned our life together and matching monogrammed towels, things began to unravel. After one particularly impassioned argument, he informed me that my independence that he loved so much about me was gone and that my clingy, emotional-needy dependence on him was too much. Here I was believing that this guy was The One – how I loved being with him every day, talking to him every night, spending weekends and holidays together …only to be brutally faced with his version of me being “clingy”. Talk about harsh reality.
Zoom forward to rebound boyfriend – determined to keep my independence, I drove myself everywhere, refused to get attached to his family or spend any holidays with them. I spent weekends alone after assuring him how great it was that he go fishing with the guys, or to that concert. At this extreme, I was in a relationship and
still felt alone. Worse yet – I was keeping those “crazies” of wanting to be with him and not telling him for fear of being “clingy”. Needless to say, when we broke up – he told me that he felt like I never let my guard down – and that I didn’t seem to want to be a part of his life and family.
hopefully my next turn on the relationship merry-go-round – I’ll manage to keep the balance. Fall in love, be with him, but keep my girlfriends so that I don’t become an emotional mess on the times we can’t be together – or to just enjoy time apart. I’m also not gonna keep all MY “crazies” in. If he can’t deal with my color-coded pantry organization system, he’s just not worth it. There’s a song playing on country radio called “crazy like you” by Josh Grider. It’s pretty much exactly how I feel about finding that guy -
"I say everybody's crazy so what you need to do You need to find somebody crazy like you Someone you can fuss and fight with And when you make up then you can love all night with Someone who shares your particular point of view Oh they're bound to be crazy, just make sure they're crazy like you"
if nothing else - as Samantha says - "the crazy ones get all the good pills" ;-)
