so the thing about emotional baggage is not that its not a sudden windfall or inheritances. it doesn't happen that you suddenly depart the plane and BAM! there its all right there waiting for you at baggage claim.
you pick it up in bits and pieces. as you leave each relationship, you leave with another piece of baggage. maybe you get a backpack from the 4 month relationship, or a duffel bag worth from that 2 year "commitment".
either way, the bags just seem to pile up around you. slowly building this defensive wall...
the scary part about liking someone THAT much is when you move away the baggage, when you let go of the handles of all of those pieces of insecurity, of focusing on his flaws, of doubting the sustainability. when you let go of all of that, you make the first step and then you take that leap over this wall of emotional baggage.
then. the hard part comes. will he accept you...? knowing that at any time, you could reach back and latch on to any of these emotional issues. or will something else come between you and you get burned once again. retreating back behind that wall, and taking with you a new piece of baggage to add to your luggage collection....
once again doubting your personality, your attractiveness, beauty, intelligence - even personal worth. why cant he just love me back? what about me is so unlovable, so unworthy of a commitment... or even the chance?
and before you know it. you're back where you started. scared of taking that leap. of hurdling the pile of baggage. hiding behind past failures and projecting the mistakes of all the past guys onto the new guy before he has a chance to leave the gate....
so the question continues to be.... is he worth the risk of leaving behind the safety of the wall of emotional baggage? to try once again...
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