What do you get when you combine a PMSing woman + GPS?

a crazy b*t# who will hunt your @$$ down!


haha.... that one made me laugh so I need to share.
or maybe it just hit too close to home ;)

real friends...

"real friends know how crazy you really are….. and still choose to be seen in public with you."

and as a bonus ---- a fun Venn diagram!

I'm gonna give that boy a piece of my mind and a swift kick in the pants!

--
Sent from my mobile device

Mullets make me laugh.

An employee in a near-by department has an honest-to-goodness mullett.
Poofy, feathered, farrah-style bangs and straight, razored-cut
shoulder length hair in the back.

And it just MAKES me snicker insidiously whenever I see her.

Hurry up weekend.....the hysteria is building and the craziness is
starting to rub off!!!!

--
Sent from my mobile device

nOone in this household wants to listen to nObama.

Stupid state of the union made my TV choices: ''hellcats" OR ''eloise
goes to the plaza''.

Yet one more reason to heartily dislike nObama.....

--
Sent from my mobile device

thunder thighs

my thunder thighs are literally wearing holes in my jeans where they rub

::sigh::

so much for thinking I was making progress...
I'll have to go fat-girl jean shopping yet again :((

And you might have to put me on suicide watch if I have to buy a
bigger size yet again

you will when you... believe

“Believe…
In yourself
In love
In trust
In magic
in angels
in happy endings
In God
in promises
in miracles
In people
In fairy tales
In following your heart
In peace
in happiness
in never giving up
In following your passions and making your dreams come true
In always having fun
In helping people
in making the world a better place
In changing for the better”

Southern Women

so I've touched upon Southern men, country boys, redneck guys and white-trash males.  but neglected the the pinnacle of all things sacred to Southern living.... Southern WOMEN!!!

 

• we can change a tire without breaking a nail


• have more class in our little finger than most broads up North will have in their whole life


• produce tears without blinking


• flash a little cleavage while still being classy.  or get our way ;)


• out-strategize a man's next 2 moves


• scheme so well as to be a testament to our mommas and grandmamas' legacy


• let the man believe he's in control. or even better - that he thought that great idea up by himself


• birth children .... and whup them as needed


• cook venison (may have shot the damn deer ourselves!)


• make the best sweet tea you've ever tasted (warning: may induce diabetic shock)


• worm our way into many a man's heart


• be the sweetest thang you've ever set eyes on


• pretend oblivious to get what we really want....


• love our men with our whole hearts and souls (Tammy Wynette said it best - "Stand by Your Man!")

and to leave you with just a few of my favorite quotes about myself and other Southern ladies...

 

hooptie clinched the deal

so 74 minutes into a 110 minute conversation (our 1st conversation, mind you)

he said "hooptie". and I cant stop smiling :-D

princess diaries

don't you wish your love life worked like "my fair lady"
--- the guy that plays hard to get, eventually comes around and pursues her.

i know the ones that leave you aren't the ones that love you (or will love and leave you) but it doesn't seem fair sometimes.

the best kisses,
inside jokes,
similar upbringings
and goals for life....

and yet somehow he still doesnt call


WHY CANT HE JUST CALL ALREADY!?!?!

love you long time

been so long. too long. too many thoughts, too many emotions. too many hurts. sometimes its just all too much.
Sometimes when you look back at all the endings, you have to hope when you're with the one that doesn't end - that you can laugh about all the ones that weren't.
right now it just seems like a giant train wreck.
my panic attacks make traveling impossible. so tired of treadmills without results. so wanting to feel loved by someone other than the friends and family that have to. so lonely, and yet so unsure of capacity to be a "couple" again.
do i have what it takes to give unselfishly, to not whiny or belittle, to curb my OCD tendencies for the good of another. i dont have the answers to those questions.
and i dont really know that i'm looking for them
I guess I'm just hoping that if its not to be, God slaps me upside the head with it and makes it painfully obvious
until then, continued secret hope, yoyo btwn happy and single --to-- alone and despair.

Lord I hope its just hormones that make me this out of whack...

if you've got the money, honey - i've got the time.

sweet Jesus I own a LOT of crap!!!
 i should have paid someone to pack and move all of my stuff. goodness gracious - you'd think after 3x of moving in college, plus 2 apt moves - that I would be a minimalist!

drinking and packing was a GREAT idea (i reserve the right to disagree tomorrow)
however, tequila was a BAD choice.

damn dry spell

4months
4 months and counting.... since my last KISS!
so that makes it__________ since....

major dry spell.

and funny thing is, I really just want to make out.
to cuddle, snuggle, kiss, feel that warm tingly feeling....
to be that close with someone again.


and ya know, when you find yourself wishing the hog farmer calls you...
you know you need to be wary of making some downright damn bad decisions!

hog farmer hit on

i got hit on by a hog farmer!
in a bar!
on a Monday night!

and thanks to Johnny Walker, he now has my number

that is all...

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"`

so the thing about emotional baggage is not that its not a sudden windfall or inheritances. it doesn't happen that you suddenly depart the plane and BAM! there its all right there waiting for you at baggage claim.
you pick it up in bits and pieces. as you leave each relationship, you leave with another piece of baggage. maybe you get a backpack from the 4 month relationship, or a duffel bag worth from that 2 year "commitment".
either way, the bags just seem to pile up around you. slowly building this defensive wall...
the scary part about liking someone THAT much is when you move away the baggage, when you let go of the handles of all of those pieces of insecurity, of focusing on his flaws, of doubting the sustainability. when you let go of all of that, you make the first step and then you take that leap over this wall of emotional baggage.

then. the hard part comes. will he accept you...? knowing that at any time, you could reach back and latch on to any of these emotional issues. or will something else come between you and you get burned once again. retreating back behind that wall, and taking with you a new piece of baggage to add to your luggage collection....
once again doubting your personality, your attractiveness, beauty, intelligence - even personal worth. why cant he just love me back? what about me is so unlovable, so unworthy of a commitment... or even the chance?

and before you know it. you're back where you started. scared of taking that leap. of hurdling the pile of baggage. hiding behind past failures and projecting the mistakes of all the past guys onto the new guy before he has a chance to leave the gate....

so the question continues to be.... is he worth the risk of leaving behind the safety of the wall of emotional baggage? to try once again...