okay 3 small lessons for members of the male gender. i'll start slow so not to overwhelm you...
(1) ignore the "3 day" rule after dates. technology has obliterated the effectiveness of not calling. we know you're on facebook, or twittering, or posting photos on myspace. what we dont understand is if you're into us, why you're not calling. so call... or risk being written off.
(2) if you're not into us, let us know right NOW! dont play games, string us along, or pretend to care about "hurting OUR feelings". sooner is better than later.
"hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." true then, still true today!
(3) be a gentleman. chivalry may, for all formal purposes, be dead. but in our deepest of hearts, we want the white knight to open the door, pay for dinner, and kiss us goodnight at our doorstep. if we're jonesing for more - have no fear - we'll pull you inside and rip your clothes off. :-)
class adjorned... for now
6.26.2008
vini, vidi, vichi
i came, i saw, i lived
there ought to be a similar phrase for men. "i dated, tried on for size, none of them fit and i'm better off alone."
or so it seems lately....
not only has there been a dry spell lately, but the ones i am attracted to are (a) unavailable (b) all WRONG for me [read: hEaRtBrEaKe] or (c) live too fucking far away
which makes for a very horny, v-club card carrying member.
why do you always want what you can't have. or wont let yourself have....
sometimes the right decisions feel very WRONG
there ought to be a similar phrase for men. "i dated, tried on for size, none of them fit and i'm better off alone."
or so it seems lately....
not only has there been a dry spell lately, but the ones i am attracted to are (a) unavailable (b) all WRONG for me [read: hEaRtBrEaKe] or (c) live too fucking far away
which makes for a very horny, v-club card carrying member.
why do you always want what you can't have. or wont let yourself have....
sometimes the right decisions feel very WRONG
6.21.2008
second helpings of leftovers
so why disappear - only to re-appear a month later? when our same problems still prevent us from being togehter (N demands sex in a relationship. i'm not there yet)
and to add a cherry to this clusterfuck - he now lives hundreds of miles away. With the price of gas quickly approaching $4/gal, seeing each other is not easy on the wallet.
plus fitting his oversized head (giant ego included) in any non-giant house or car would be quite the feat. with his braggin about being able to pay for boob jobs (not that i was aware i needed, nor wanted one), that he could get me whatever i wanted - the ironic fact is that i simply want a man who loves me for me
and that, my friends, would be my 2nd helping of love. not cold nasty leftovers of a relationship that never turned out like the recipe said it would
and to add a cherry to this clusterfuck - he now lives hundreds of miles away. With the price of gas quickly approaching $4/gal, seeing each other is not easy on the wallet.
plus fitting his oversized head (giant ego included) in any non-giant house or car would be quite the feat. with his braggin about being able to pay for boob jobs (not that i was aware i needed, nor wanted one), that he could get me whatever i wanted - the ironic fact is that i simply want a man who loves me for me
and that, my friends, would be my 2nd helping of love. not cold nasty leftovers of a relationship that never turned out like the recipe said it would
6.09.2008
if only the good die young, i might live forever
so quotes are my thing. other people may have movie lines memorized, or sage advice to pass on.
But I like quotes.
Quotes are relateable.
Quotes are (usually) learned from experience - so learn from other's mistakes.
you dont have to re-invent the wheel.
when you dog chews up your fave red high heels - just remember "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. ~Josh Billings"
When a random hot guy asks "can have your number" dont think about the fact that he's probably drunk off his @$$, remember "In vino, veritas"
And when the ex love of your life knocks up his gf and then marries her, make this your mantra "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade - and find someone who life gave vodka"
so till next time, remember that "Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you smile, laugh as much as you breathe, and love as long as you live.”
But I like quotes.
Quotes are relateable.
Quotes are (usually) learned from experience - so learn from other's mistakes.
you dont have to re-invent the wheel.
when you dog chews up your fave red high heels - just remember "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. ~Josh Billings"
When a random hot guy asks "can have your number" dont think about the fact that he's probably drunk off his @$$, remember "In vino, veritas"
And when the ex love of your life knocks up his gf and then marries her, make this your mantra "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade - and find someone who life gave vodka"
so till next time, remember that "Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you smile, laugh as much as you breathe, and love as long as you live.”
5.18.2008
the truth about women...
so... im not plagarizing. (credited article/author )
this is an article i read on menshealth.com - and its fantastic. and SO TRUE. and i had to share! so read, learn and tuck away for your own secret knowledge. men can always use any help they can get when it comes to women! :-)
Secrets Every Woman Keeps From Her Man
All her naked, sexy (and a little scary) truths revealed
By: Kathryn Eisman
The woman you sleep with gazes into your eyes and tells you she loves you. And you believe her. You can tell by the way she looks at you, the way she holds you, the way she seems to always know what you want before you do. There are a couple of things in life you just know, and love and this naked woman are two of them.
But there are a lot of things you don't know.
A woman may give you her body and her heart, but there are parts that she'll never give up. Pieces woven into the very fiber of her being. Mysteries only hinted at in a passing sly smile, an inscrutable laugh. These are the secrets of lovers past, hidden fantasies, and unshared longings. A woman's deepest secrets that don't -- and never will -- include you.
You're about to sample this hidden knowledge. But like any man who seeks, you'd better be prepared for what you're about to find.
1) My best friend knows everything. She knows all of your vitals -- from the size of your bank account to the size of your other, um, holdings -- and she knows how both compare with those of every other man I've ever dated. I have done a hand-comparison measurement so I can divulge size and girth with a high level of accuracy. When my friend smirks at you knowingly, you are not imagining it. She knows. So just know that she knows, and deal with it. (It's not going to change.)
Ask her about me, or chat with her about our relationship, at your own risk. She will tell me. Even -- in fact, especially -- if she promises not to. This is not always a bad thing (e.g., if you happen to be telling her how much you love me). But, in general, remember that she is my confidante first, and yours never.
2) Just looking at your hands can turn me on.
3) When you go away, even for a day, I sleep in your favorite old T-shirt because it smells like you.
4) I'll never tell you exactly how many men I've slept with. No matter how sincere I appeared when I answered your question, chances are I wasn't. As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she's slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to seven. Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn't want to appear a floozy), but mostly it's sexual amnesia. When a woman wants to pretend an encounter never occurred, she simply scraps the man from her official score sheet. Common excuses that lead to such an omission: The actual sex lasted only a few thrusts; or she was drunk or on the rebound.
5) I fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before we actually first got naked.
6) I still think about my ex-boyfriends and compare them to you. Mostly you win. Sometimes not.
7) I have Googled your exes.
8) When I'm falling in love with you, I completely lose my appetite.
9) My body really isn't naturally this hairless and smooth all over. But I will never allow you to see any indication whatsoever of all the shaving, tweezing, waxing, exfoliating, and moisturizing that gets it this way.
10) I only appear to have it all together. My true organization (or lack thereof) is revealed in my closet, my makeup bag, my desk files.
11) I have discovered your porn stash and your frequently visited porn Web sites and think the things that turn you on are hilarious.
12) When I say, "I'm ready," I'll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. Don't try to cheat the system by showing up 7 minutes later; I will still need an extra 7 minutes.
13) When I say, "I'll meet you in 15 minutes," I mean I will leave in 15 minutes, and thus won't actually arrive for at least 30 (but probably more like 40).
14) You've made me cry more times than you'll ever know.
15) I obsess about when you're going to call me again. The period of time between our first date and your "Thanks for a great night; when can I see you again?" always seems stretched into slow motion. So don't worry about looking too eager. Call. Even if you only wait until noon the day after, it will feel like a lifetime to me. And don't send me an e-mail unless you want me to put you in the figurative trash can along with your message.
16) I want you to talk a little dirty.
17) At the beginning of our relationship, I save all of your voice mails and listen to them (and make my friends listen, too), repeatedly.
18) I might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave my legs because I like you. As crazy as it sounds, the more I like you, the less likely I am to sleep with you on an early date, because I don't want to sabotage having a "proper" relationship with you. So I just might purposely hunt out the ugliest underwear in my drawer and not shave my legs -- all to prevent myself from getting naked with you too soon. Sometimes I might get a little tipsy or carried away, and this plan will backfire.
19) I split the cost of my fashion purchases over two or more credit cards, so you don't notice the gargantuan deficit.
20) I'm constantly testing you. I observe, analyze, and judge every action, word, gesture, e-mail, and facial expression. When I ask you if you want to have a threesome, I don't mean it. If you want me to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you after this conversation, the answer should always be, "Why would I want to sleep with another woman when I have you?"
21) I check out your butt every time you leave the room.
22) I need constant indications that you want me around. That's why it's better, for example, to say, "I want you to come away with me for the weekend. Could you come with me?" than to ask, "What are you up to this weekend?"
23) I love it when you get a little jealous. So if you ever see me flirting in front of you with the waiter, the bus driver, or another guy at a party, know I'm actually flirting with you -- through him.
24) Even though I may complain that I don't see you enough (or that you work too hard), I find nothing sexier than watching you put on a suit in the morning and rush off to work.
25) I start fights with you because I'm feeling ignored. I'm trying to force emotion out of you. Don't retreat into your cave; just give me what I want: some attention. And never tell me to "calm down," unless you want to guarantee that I absolutely won't.
26) Even if I insist on paying or splitting the bill on our first date, I'll think you're cheap if you let me.
27) I may find your best friend repulsive, but I've fantasized about sleeping with him. Not because I want him, but because I want a piece of a guy who is so close to you.
28) If I'm going to break up with you, all of my friends know way before you do. I've been talking about it for 2 weeks.
29) If we do break up, I put all photographs of you and mementos of our relationship in a shoe box and store it in my closet. Just in case I get nostalgic. Just in case you come back.
30) I want you to take control in bed. Yes, I have a successful career, I'm financially independent, I live on my own, and I don't need a man to make me happy (in theory). I still want you to pick me up, carry me to the bedroom, and take without asking.
this is an article i read on menshealth.com - and its fantastic. and SO TRUE. and i had to share! so read, learn and tuck away for your own secret knowledge. men can always use any help they can get when it comes to women! :-)
Secrets Every Woman Keeps From Her Man
All her naked, sexy (and a little scary) truths revealed
By: Kathryn Eisman
The woman you sleep with gazes into your eyes and tells you she loves you. And you believe her. You can tell by the way she looks at you, the way she holds you, the way she seems to always know what you want before you do. There are a couple of things in life you just know, and love and this naked woman are two of them.
But there are a lot of things you don't know.
A woman may give you her body and her heart, but there are parts that she'll never give up. Pieces woven into the very fiber of her being. Mysteries only hinted at in a passing sly smile, an inscrutable laugh. These are the secrets of lovers past, hidden fantasies, and unshared longings. A woman's deepest secrets that don't -- and never will -- include you.
You're about to sample this hidden knowledge. But like any man who seeks, you'd better be prepared for what you're about to find.
1) My best friend knows everything. She knows all of your vitals -- from the size of your bank account to the size of your other, um, holdings -- and she knows how both compare with those of every other man I've ever dated. I have done a hand-comparison measurement so I can divulge size and girth with a high level of accuracy. When my friend smirks at you knowingly, you are not imagining it. She knows. So just know that she knows, and deal with it. (It's not going to change.)
Ask her about me, or chat with her about our relationship, at your own risk. She will tell me. Even -- in fact, especially -- if she promises not to. This is not always a bad thing (e.g., if you happen to be telling her how much you love me). But, in general, remember that she is my confidante first, and yours never.
2) Just looking at your hands can turn me on.
3) When you go away, even for a day, I sleep in your favorite old T-shirt because it smells like you.
4) I'll never tell you exactly how many men I've slept with. No matter how sincere I appeared when I answered your question, chances are I wasn't. As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she's slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to seven. Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn't want to appear a floozy), but mostly it's sexual amnesia. When a woman wants to pretend an encounter never occurred, she simply scraps the man from her official score sheet. Common excuses that lead to such an omission: The actual sex lasted only a few thrusts; or she was drunk or on the rebound.
5) I fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before we actually first got naked.
6) I still think about my ex-boyfriends and compare them to you. Mostly you win. Sometimes not.
7) I have Googled your exes.
8) When I'm falling in love with you, I completely lose my appetite.
9) My body really isn't naturally this hairless and smooth all over. But I will never allow you to see any indication whatsoever of all the shaving, tweezing, waxing, exfoliating, and moisturizing that gets it this way.
10) I only appear to have it all together. My true organization (or lack thereof) is revealed in my closet, my makeup bag, my desk files.
11) I have discovered your porn stash and your frequently visited porn Web sites and think the things that turn you on are hilarious.
12) When I say, "I'm ready," I'll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. Don't try to cheat the system by showing up 7 minutes later; I will still need an extra 7 minutes.
13) When I say, "I'll meet you in 15 minutes," I mean I will leave in 15 minutes, and thus won't actually arrive for at least 30 (but probably more like 40).
14) You've made me cry more times than you'll ever know.
15) I obsess about when you're going to call me again. The period of time between our first date and your "Thanks for a great night; when can I see you again?" always seems stretched into slow motion. So don't worry about looking too eager. Call. Even if you only wait until noon the day after, it will feel like a lifetime to me. And don't send me an e-mail unless you want me to put you in the figurative trash can along with your message.
16) I want you to talk a little dirty.
17) At the beginning of our relationship, I save all of your voice mails and listen to them (and make my friends listen, too), repeatedly.
18) I might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave my legs because I like you. As crazy as it sounds, the more I like you, the less likely I am to sleep with you on an early date, because I don't want to sabotage having a "proper" relationship with you. So I just might purposely hunt out the ugliest underwear in my drawer and not shave my legs -- all to prevent myself from getting naked with you too soon. Sometimes I might get a little tipsy or carried away, and this plan will backfire.
19) I split the cost of my fashion purchases over two or more credit cards, so you don't notice the gargantuan deficit.
20) I'm constantly testing you. I observe, analyze, and judge every action, word, gesture, e-mail, and facial expression. When I ask you if you want to have a threesome, I don't mean it. If you want me to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you after this conversation, the answer should always be, "Why would I want to sleep with another woman when I have you?"
21) I check out your butt every time you leave the room.
22) I need constant indications that you want me around. That's why it's better, for example, to say, "I want you to come away with me for the weekend. Could you come with me?" than to ask, "What are you up to this weekend?"
23) I love it when you get a little jealous. So if you ever see me flirting in front of you with the waiter, the bus driver, or another guy at a party, know I'm actually flirting with you -- through him.
24) Even though I may complain that I don't see you enough (or that you work too hard), I find nothing sexier than watching you put on a suit in the morning and rush off to work.
25) I start fights with you because I'm feeling ignored. I'm trying to force emotion out of you. Don't retreat into your cave; just give me what I want: some attention. And never tell me to "calm down," unless you want to guarantee that I absolutely won't.
26) Even if I insist on paying or splitting the bill on our first date, I'll think you're cheap if you let me.
27) I may find your best friend repulsive, but I've fantasized about sleeping with him. Not because I want him, but because I want a piece of a guy who is so close to you.
28) If I'm going to break up with you, all of my friends know way before you do. I've been talking about it for 2 weeks.
29) If we do break up, I put all photographs of you and mementos of our relationship in a shoe box and store it in my closet. Just in case I get nostalgic. Just in case you come back.
30) I want you to take control in bed. Yes, I have a successful career, I'm financially independent, I live on my own, and I don't need a man to make me happy (in theory). I still want you to pick me up, carry me to the bedroom, and take without asking.
4.30.2008
blasphamey
btwn 2 friends...
"i am so angry and so heartbroken. and i'm so MAD. and i'm angry at God for letting it happen. and guilty for being mad at God. but i still want to bitch-slap God. and i'm pretty sure that consititutes blasphemey and being damned to hell for eternity"
"i am so angry and so heartbroken. and i'm so MAD. and i'm angry at God for letting it happen. and guilty for being mad at God. but i still want to bitch-slap God. and i'm pretty sure that consititutes blasphemey and being damned to hell for eternity"
4.22.2008
weights & wanton women...err woman
working out makes me horny.
i REALLY have no idea why this is...
if its the exhausted, satisfied feeling i get when i'm done working out
the hot sweaty men
the sweaty sheen and smell
the way my muscles burn as endurance levels are pushed
the hot muscular men
the endorphins released
the hot strong men
obviously the hot men could be a big factor in why i pay the big corporate gym a chunk of change every month. i could kid myself and tell me its because it rains and i cant always run outside, or that i need strength training. but why kid a kidder.... i like the better view from my elliptical machine of the hot shirtless men rather than than the neighborhood park where the view consists of dads running with jogging strollers or old women who think they can pull off sports bras and spandex in broad daylight.
speaking of the gym, i see alot of guys i'd be interested in meeting. but i have no idea what to say to them... or even if i want to be that girl. see i've never been the girl that asks guys out. i have no issue with feminine wiles and flirting or batting my baby blues.... but i'm old-fashioned and southern. And asking for a date and proposing are 2 things that should always be taken care of by the GUY!
but i definitely wouldn't shoo a guy away if they came up to me in the gym- even just to meet me and get to know new ppl. I guess in my logic, a gym is less frightening because its a public place with lots of people around, everyone's in casual clothes, and there's music blaring. While sweat dripping down my face or worries over stray hairs/sweat stains do occasionally grip my paranoid mind... it seems easier to approach a someone in a gym than in other high-pressure cliche situations (bars!).
So if there are any guys reading - (a) take some advice, and try and at least tell your gym crush hello, and (b) tell me what to do to get MY gym crushes to talk to me (while NOT acting like a creeper/stalker).
till next time, please frequent your local gym and help make the world a prettier, healthier place. And if you know of any hot straight guys in your gym, send them to mine. thanks
i REALLY have no idea why this is...
if its the exhausted, satisfied feeling i get when i'm done working out
the hot sweaty men
the sweaty sheen and smell
the way my muscles burn as endurance levels are pushed
the hot muscular men
the endorphins released
the hot strong men
obviously the hot men could be a big factor in why i pay the big corporate gym a chunk of change every month. i could kid myself and tell me its because it rains and i cant always run outside, or that i need strength training. but why kid a kidder.... i like the better view from my elliptical machine of the hot shirtless men rather than than the neighborhood park where the view consists of dads running with jogging strollers or old women who think they can pull off sports bras and spandex in broad daylight.
this is especially perplexing to me because when i leave, the thought of someone kissing me when i'm all sweaty is not appealing. things change on that way home, when i crank up the club
music, dance along, and then all i want to do is mug down with a hottie and get our sweaty bodies together
speaking of the gym, i see alot of guys i'd be interested in meeting. but i have no idea what to say to them... or even if i want to be that girl. see i've never been the girl that asks guys out. i have no issue with feminine wiles and flirting or batting my baby blues.... but i'm old-fashioned and southern. And asking for a date and proposing are 2 things that should always be taken care of by the GUY!
but i definitely wouldn't shoo a guy away if they came up to me in the gym- even just to meet me and get to know new ppl. I guess in my logic, a gym is less frightening because its a public place with lots of people around, everyone's in casual clothes, and there's music blaring. While sweat dripping down my face or worries over stray hairs/sweat stains do occasionally grip my paranoid mind... it seems easier to approach a someone in a gym than in other high-pressure cliche situations (bars!).
So if there are any guys reading - (a) take some advice, and try and at least tell your gym crush hello, and (b) tell me what to do to get MY gym crushes to talk to me (while NOT acting like a creeper/stalker).
till next time, please frequent your local gym and help make the world a prettier, healthier place. And if you know of any hot straight guys in your gym, send them to mine. thanks
snuggles vs sex
so the conondrum of the ages is without a doubt:
women need to be close to want to have sex
and men need to have sex in order to feel close
how does one possibly reconcile these 2 extremes?
someone... or something... has to give.
i dont understand how, when that happens, someone doesnt feel resentful, or used, or something.. that just dooms the rest of whatever you had.
this girl's knee-deep in quicksand and feeling trapped......any advice or experiences learned are welcomed.
women need to be close to want to have sex
and men need to have sex in order to feel close
how does one possibly reconcile these 2 extremes?
someone... or something... has to give.
i dont understand how, when that happens, someone doesnt feel resentful, or used, or something.. that just dooms the rest of whatever you had.
this girl's knee-deep in quicksand and feeling trapped......any advice or experiences learned are welcomed.
4.17.2008
daydreams...
i'm daydreaming on a lazy afternoon....
daydreaming of amazing 1st dates,
that feeling of attraction,
catching someone's gaze from across the room,
first kisses,
movie dates on his couch,
sizzling chemistry,
getting asked out (ALWAYS an ego booster),
having a boyfriend,
holding hands,
vacations, birthdays, and holidays with that someone special,
making out (juvenile yet so enjoyable)
comfort level of having someone who has your back on bad days,
getting flowers.... and love notes,
sweating over meeting the family,
making a mess in the kitchen cooking dinner together... and leaving it till morning
late night walks in the park,
afternoon naps cuddled up on the couch together,
getting a wedding invitation addressed to you both,
obsessing, losing sleep and finally saying " i love you" for the first time,
camping trips together,
suprising him with breakfast in bed,
someone who worrys about you getting home safe... and calls to double check
spending the night at his place,
him spending the night at yours....and checking the closets for you,
having a date for your friends' weddings...who are ALL getting married,
wistfully making future plans with him,
the dream of having that love for the rest of your lives...
i miss all that. yeah, i miss being loved. but more than that, i miss loving someone else. i miss having that person to think about, consider, cook for, worry about, take care of, &.... love.
daydreaming of amazing 1st dates,
that feeling of attraction,
catching someone's gaze from across the room,
first kisses,
movie dates on his couch,
sizzling chemistry,
getting asked out (ALWAYS an ego booster),
having a boyfriend,
holding hands,
vacations, birthdays, and holidays with that someone special,
making out (juvenile yet so enjoyable)
comfort level of having someone who has your back on bad days,
getting flowers.... and love notes,
sweating over meeting the family,
making a mess in the kitchen cooking dinner together... and leaving it till morning
late night walks in the park,
afternoon naps cuddled up on the couch together,
getting a wedding invitation addressed to you both,
obsessing, losing sleep and finally saying " i love you" for the first time,
camping trips together,
suprising him with breakfast in bed,
someone who worrys about you getting home safe... and calls to double check
spending the night at his place,
him spending the night at yours....and checking the closets for you,
having a date for your friends' weddings...who are ALL getting married,
wistfully making future plans with him,
the dream of having that love for the rest of your lives...
i miss all that. yeah, i miss being loved. but more than that, i miss loving someone else. i miss having that person to think about, consider, cook for, worry about, take care of, &.... love.
4.14.2008
B-list boyfriends
“B” terms are rarely good for relationships. Breaks, BOYS (men are only slightly better) blubbering, break-ups, bitchiness, broken hearts, boo-hooing, baby’s mommas, boobs (somebody else’s that your boyfriend’s checking out) and blow-offs
When did I become the girl that guys blow-off? More importantly, when did it become okay to blow-off someone? I know things are awkward as @$$ after break-ups, or even “relationships” that never become anything… but that doesn’t make it okay to be a dick about it. As the saying goes “just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to be one”… this applies to asses and dicks.
B, the long-term ex, never spoke to me again (except to ruin my birthday once) after the “break” that became a break-UP.
D, the short-term ex, fronted the “lets stay friends” routine as well as the “we’ll still hang out” due to the fact that we had mutual friends. However, since our split, he went out of his way to avoid me. And to be honest, making it such a big damn deal made things worse.
P, the one-time date, kissed and never called again (which pissed me off so badly I posted about it)
Then there was N – the month-plus long relationship. this one might be bipolar – he’s happy and sweet and making future plans one day and the next day he’s angry and sulky and “not in the same life direction” as me. Gee-golly – I was “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” with this guy. That and he turned out to be a self-absorbed prick (preened on every date and actually told me how “lucky I was to be with him”).
Still, he could have at least called and admitted that he didn’t really have time/energy/mirror space for me or some other lame ass excuse… NOT just stop answering calls/texts and never speak to me again!
The latest disaster in dates-ville was a set-up by one of my engaged friends (no, I didn’t know it was a set-up when I agreed to it) and the guy NEVER even showed. My self-esteem hit a new low that night and I’ve got pictures to prove it.
Seriously people – it is NOT okay to blow someone off. Regardless of how hot you think I’m not, or whether the relationship is on the down-hill slide – we’re still all human beings and due at least a little respect and dignity.
So, to all listening males (even though I’m probably preaching to the choir) – get over yourself, be a man, and use the manners your momma raised you with!
So quit your Bitchin’, grows some Balls* – and you might earn yourself an A-list girlfriend!
[*Preferably balls the size Bob Stoops (best coach in college football) had during the A&M/OU game this past fall… that guy has cojones!]
When did I become the girl that guys blow-off? More importantly, when did it become okay to blow-off someone? I know things are awkward as @$$ after break-ups, or even “relationships” that never become anything… but that doesn’t make it okay to be a dick about it. As the saying goes “just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to be one”… this applies to asses and dicks.
B, the long-term ex, never spoke to me again (except to ruin my birthday once) after the “break” that became a break-UP.
D, the short-term ex, fronted the “lets stay friends” routine as well as the “we’ll still hang out” due to the fact that we had mutual friends. However, since our split, he went out of his way to avoid me. And to be honest, making it such a big damn deal made things worse.
P, the one-time date, kissed and never called again (which pissed me off so badly I posted about it)
Then there was N – the month-plus long relationship. this one might be bipolar – he’s happy and sweet and making future plans one day and the next day he’s angry and sulky and “not in the same life direction” as me. Gee-golly – I was “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” with this guy. That and he turned out to be a self-absorbed prick (preened on every date and actually told me how “lucky I was to be with him”).
Still, he could have at least called and admitted that he didn’t really have time/energy/mirror space for me or some other lame ass excuse… NOT just stop answering calls/texts and never speak to me again!
The latest disaster in dates-ville was a set-up by one of my engaged friends (no, I didn’t know it was a set-up when I agreed to it) and the guy NEVER even showed. My self-esteem hit a new low that night and I’ve got pictures to prove it.
Seriously people – it is NOT okay to blow someone off. Regardless of how hot you think I’m not, or whether the relationship is on the down-hill slide – we’re still all human beings and due at least a little respect and dignity.
So, to all listening males (even though I’m probably preaching to the choir) – get over yourself, be a man, and use the manners your momma raised you with!
So quit your Bitchin’, grows some Balls* – and you might earn yourself an A-list girlfriend!
[*Preferably balls the size Bob Stoops (best coach in college football) had during the A&M/OU game this past fall… that guy has cojones!]
3.24.2008
Ode to Singleness
- Sleeping late on Saturday with only your own obligations to blow off
- Rationalizing tequila as a vegetable because it comes from the agave plant
- Burning dinner… and not stressing over anyone going hungry or being grumpy
' - being a “sports enthusiast” when there are cute guys at a sports bar
- Buying the “good stuff” & not having to share it with anyone else (*this applies to food, wine/ liquor)
- S&TC & chick flicks marathons
- Eating ice cream any time of night, picking out all the cookies outta the cookies-n-cream, AND leaving the bowl on the nightstand.
- Getting your drinks bought… even if it’s a guy you’d never go out with
- No (future) mom-in-laws who “admire” your “birthing” hips or criticize everything about you
- Listening to really bad music and singing along off-key without criticism about your taste in music… or your voice
- “having hot revenge sex with total strangers” (nod to the greatness that is 27 Dresses )
- the toilet seat ALWAYS being in the correct position
- Only your own dysfunctional family to deal with at holidays and long weekends
- Sole possession of the remote control
- No annoying whisker hairs all over the sink (*or for the guys – no rings of leg hair around the tub)
- VEGAS baby!
2.25.2008
scary real or real scary
Feet throbbing, head pounding – “I’m getting too old for this shit”. Apparently booty-bump dancing, waltzing and 2-stepping till 2am and then continued “festivities” till 4am was getting to be too much for this lady.
After a girls’ night out, I was too pooped to pop.
But sleep eluded me. 4 am, I finally drifted off to sleep – only to wake up 7am (an annoyance that ALWAYS happens when I drink!).
Sleep eluded me because as much as fun as I had, I spent a lot of time watching the door.
Waiting for an ex to walk in and trying to avoid an awkward situation that never even occurred.
I feel like I’ve spent so much of my life, looking over my shoulder…
waiting for the other shoe to drop.
When does that end? Or maybe more importantly, when did that start?!?!
When did life become scary instead of exciting?
When did the fear of failure start ruling my life?
I realize as a “realist”, I tend to focus on the “most likely” event but sometimes I miss the little kid in me that believed in miracles and dreams coming true.
Even the dating game has become scary.
Dating used to be butterflies in my stomach, talking for hours on end, late night walks, huge grins every time you think of him, and dates were things to look forward to – not to obsess and worry over.
Fear of failure –
I wish there was a magical wizard like in the Wizard of Oz (no Pink Floyd included)…
that could give me a brand-new (un-jaded) heart… and maybe a little bit of courage too.
And maybe a masseuse – I could really go for a foot rub right about now.
Till next time – "work like you don’t need the money, love like your heart’s never been broken, and dance like nobody’s watching".
After a girls’ night out, I was too pooped to pop.
But sleep eluded me. 4 am, I finally drifted off to sleep – only to wake up 7am (an annoyance that ALWAYS happens when I drink!).
Sleep eluded me because as much as fun as I had, I spent a lot of time watching the door.
Waiting for an ex to walk in and trying to avoid an awkward situation that never even occurred.
I feel like I’ve spent so much of my life, looking over my shoulder…
waiting for the other shoe to drop.
When does that end? Or maybe more importantly, when did that start?!?!
When did life become scary instead of exciting?
When did the fear of failure start ruling my life?
I realize as a “realist”, I tend to focus on the “most likely” event but sometimes I miss the little kid in me that believed in miracles and dreams coming true.
Even the dating game has become scary.
Dating used to be butterflies in my stomach, talking for hours on end, late night walks, huge grins every time you think of him, and dates were things to look forward to – not to obsess and worry over.
Fear of failure –
- aka never finding Mr Right,
- fear of rejection,
- fear of commitment,
- fear of loneliness,
- fear of “settling”…
I wish there was a magical wizard like in the Wizard of Oz (no Pink Floyd included)…
that could give me a brand-new (un-jaded) heart… and maybe a little bit of courage too.
And maybe a masseuse – I could really go for a foot rub right about now.
Till next time – "work like you don’t need the money, love like your heart’s never been broken, and dance like nobody’s watching".
2.09.2008
rain
Jolted awake, heart beating out my chest, the storm had arrived.
As the thunder boomed and the lightening flashed through my window, the rain and my emotions swirled in the thick air.
Startled by the storm, my departure from the lovely land of zzzs was not solely due to the wrath of Mother Nature.
I was also aware of the very realistic, very disturbing dream that had me fitfully sleeping.
Frustrated that I slept so poorly after exhausting myself at the gym, the memories of the dream swept over me.
To preface this, the ex from the several year-long relationship had recently updated to “in a relationship” on facebook. For someone who got no closure and whose heart has YET to listen to her head, this was at the very least - a shake up. On one hand, I had so badly wanted him to admit that he screwed up, that he wanted me back – even though I knew that the trust was too badly broken to ever repair the damage. I wanted to blow him off like I felt like he blew our relationship off. [he did literally never talk to me again.]
That has left me wondering if
And part of me IS glad that I experienced real love (from my side) at least once in my lifetime… (still hoping to feel that way with someone again). There is nothing in the world as magical and incredible feeling as loving someone.
But the other part of me wishes that I had never met him, never felt that way, and never come out so jaded.
Back to the dream, I was in a college dorm apartment – the one Zach, Slater and Screech had on Saved by The Bell – College Years. (yes, I am a proud child of the 90’s sitcoms).
My roommate Cassie and I are getting along great.
Shopping, running, studying – generally becoming best of friends.
Anyways – next day, she wants me to meet her boyfriend – who, of course, turns out to be none other than my ex.
She tries to explain in earnest how this changes nothing, how we can still be friends.
Tears are streaming down my face and my mascara is running like the delusional Britney fan (note: watch Tosh.0 if you dont already!).
My heart is being ripped out of my chest while still beating (like in Indiana Jones movie).
And all I can think about is how I also want to punch her in the throat. Oh, and cut his cojones off.
As I lay there trying to sleep after that emotional nightmare, I realize how much the rain cleans away– dust, dropped food on the sidewalk, squashed bugs on my windshield…
and I hope that likewise - time cleans away some of my emotional baggage.
This girl wants to focus, not on what shaped who she’s become – but where she’s going and who she has yet to be.
I’m also enjoying “Saved by the Bell” which just came on TBS – Slater is still a HOTTIE!
Till next time - "listen to the thunder, be mesmerized by lightening and dance in the rain."
As the thunder boomed and the lightening flashed through my window, the rain and my emotions swirled in the thick air.
Startled by the storm, my departure from the lovely land of zzzs was not solely due to the wrath of Mother Nature.
I was also aware of the very realistic, very disturbing dream that had me fitfully sleeping.
Frustrated that I slept so poorly after exhausting myself at the gym, the memories of the dream swept over me.
To preface this, the ex from the several year-long relationship had recently updated to “in a relationship” on facebook. For someone who got no closure and whose heart has YET to listen to her head, this was at the very least - a shake up. On one hand, I had so badly wanted him to admit that he screwed up, that he wanted me back – even though I knew that the trust was too badly broken to ever repair the damage. I wanted to blow him off like I felt like he blew our relationship off. [he did literally never talk to me again.]
That has left me wondering if
- (a) he never loved me and just lied for years or
- (b) if I was so un-memorable that he fell out of love with you and never looked back.
And part of me IS glad that I experienced real love (from my side) at least once in my lifetime… (still hoping to feel that way with someone again). There is nothing in the world as magical and incredible feeling as loving someone.
But the other part of me wishes that I had never met him, never felt that way, and never come out so jaded.
Back to the dream, I was in a college dorm apartment – the one Zach, Slater and Screech had on Saved by The Bell – College Years. (yes, I am a proud child of the 90’s sitcoms).
My roommate Cassie and I are getting along great.
Shopping, running, studying – generally becoming best of friends.
Anyways – next day, she wants me to meet her boyfriend – who, of course, turns out to be none other than my ex.
She tries to explain in earnest how this changes nothing, how we can still be friends.
Tears are streaming down my face and my mascara is running like the delusional Britney fan (note: watch Tosh.0 if you dont already!).
My heart is being ripped out of my chest while still beating (like in Indiana Jones movie).
And all I can think about is how I also want to punch her in the throat. Oh, and cut his cojones off.
As I lay there trying to sleep after that emotional nightmare, I realize how much the rain cleans away– dust, dropped food on the sidewalk, squashed bugs on my windshield…
and I hope that likewise - time cleans away some of my emotional baggage.
This girl wants to focus, not on what shaped who she’s become – but where she’s going and who she has yet to be.
I’m also enjoying “Saved by the Bell” which just came on TBS – Slater is still a HOTTIE!
Till next time - "listen to the thunder, be mesmerized by lightening and dance in the rain."
2.05.2008
the donkey & the elephant
so... wondering minds need to know:
what is the fascination with showing up at political rallies or primaries? Why spend hours in a crowded room with dorks and fanatics to see a person full of hot air speak of empty promises that they will most likely renege on? I don't get the appeal.
To be fair - I dont understand the obsession with celebrities either. Why dress up to go to a movie premiere where you stand around in the rain or heat admiring other people (they're just humans too) when you can see the movie at the theater (while wearing sweats if so desired) in a couple weeks?
While I love this country and democracy (yes, even with all of its' flaws), I don't understand the crowd-mentality surrounding the candidates. Before TV, it was a necessity to reach the audience through public speeches, publishing articles in newspapers, etc. But that was back when they said a man in a wheelchair would have never been elected president had the general public had access to television like we do today. Nowadays - those reasons simply don't exist anymore. We have television, radio, internet, widespread world-wide newspapers and periodicals of all sorts. If you have a message - you can get it out there. And don't give me crap about "connecting with constituents". Politicians are consistent, if on nothing else, about forgetting about where they come from and who they represent. Most of them lie/fib, cheat and "steal" to get into office. Mainly because of the power trip they get from holding a public office. An honest politician is about as rare as a snowstorm in Phoenix.
And with all the slimy, underhanded, and borderline-ethical methods that come along with campaigning now - is it even worth showing up? Candidates are planting people to ask questions that they have pre-planned politically correct answers to. Are you truly passionate about the process or do you just get drawn in by the power and magnetic personalities of the candidates - one of whom will be the most powerful man/woman of the United States come November?
i guess i'm just curious what propels people to get off their butt and come to political events. Seeing that our nation is almost at an obesity epidemic - people won't get off the couch and their butts in gear/exercise to save their lives - although, that curiously, is the thing that would save their lives. Pondering minds (probably just mine) wonder what this magical force is that surrounds politics. This curiosity could also be sheer annoyance because all "super tuesday" means is that Scrubs got scrubbed tonight... but I digress. Either way, politics at this stage is alot of bullshit. And the saying goes around here "you can't bullshit a bullshitter."
till next time... donkey or elephant - it's a ride either way.
what is the fascination with showing up at political rallies or primaries? Why spend hours in a crowded room with dorks and fanatics to see a person full of hot air speak of empty promises that they will most likely renege on? I don't get the appeal.
To be fair - I dont understand the obsession with celebrities either. Why dress up to go to a movie premiere where you stand around in the rain or heat admiring other people (they're just humans too) when you can see the movie at the theater (while wearing sweats if so desired) in a couple weeks?
While I love this country and democracy (yes, even with all of its' flaws), I don't understand the crowd-mentality surrounding the candidates. Before TV, it was a necessity to reach the audience through public speeches, publishing articles in newspapers, etc. But that was back when they said a man in a wheelchair would have never been elected president had the general public had access to television like we do today. Nowadays - those reasons simply don't exist anymore. We have television, radio, internet, widespread world-wide newspapers and periodicals of all sorts. If you have a message - you can get it out there. And don't give me crap about "connecting with constituents". Politicians are consistent, if on nothing else, about forgetting about where they come from and who they represent. Most of them lie/fib, cheat and "steal" to get into office. Mainly because of the power trip they get from holding a public office. An honest politician is about as rare as a snowstorm in Phoenix.
And with all the slimy, underhanded, and borderline-ethical methods that come along with campaigning now - is it even worth showing up? Candidates are planting people to ask questions that they have pre-planned politically correct answers to. Are you truly passionate about the process or do you just get drawn in by the power and magnetic personalities of the candidates - one of whom will be the most powerful man/woman of the United States come November?
i guess i'm just curious what propels people to get off their butt and come to political events. Seeing that our nation is almost at an obesity epidemic - people won't get off the couch and their butts in gear/exercise to save their lives - although, that curiously, is the thing that would save their lives. Pondering minds (probably just mine) wonder what this magical force is that surrounds politics. This curiosity could also be sheer annoyance because all "super tuesday" means is that Scrubs got scrubbed tonight... but I digress. Either way, politics at this stage is alot of bullshit. And the saying goes around here "you can't bullshit a bullshitter."
till next time... donkey or elephant - it's a ride either way.
2.03.2008
mad southern lady
I wanted to write about Southern gentlemen - the ones that open doors, ask you out over the phone, use the manners their mommas raised them with, and walk you to your door at the end of the night. But right now I'm madder than a bull seeing red and I dont have anything nice to say about men in general. I had a date with a guy a while ago and he never called...or even taken the low road and texted/emailed. It's way past the 3 day rule... and I'm not playing those games.
So I'll write about southern men in another post, when I have something good to say about them. Maybe in the mean time, I'll find one who still has some cojones.
Now I know ya'll have all had a bad date (or if you're like me - several bad dates) but there is no excuse or even logical explanation for this. It's unrealistic to get upset when things are ambivalent at the end of the date. If you get the one-armed hug instead of a kiss, you might expect a blow off. Or if things didn't go well. If I'd gotten plastered, or moaned about all my exes, or scarier yet... had our kids named by the end of the 1st date- those would at least be valid reasons. But that's not what happened. He asked ME out... presumably because he liked me at least a little. We spent a few hours having fun and flirting.. And when we walked out to our cars -it was HIM that came in for the real kiss (not just the peck on the cheek I offered). For a guy who ranked honesty as one of his top personality traits, and proceeded to be brutally honest in the time that I knew him - I'm flabberghasted.
And pissed off. If things aren't going well - don't kiss me. If you're not feeling it - man up and say that. Guys love to gripe about girls playing games and stringing guys along but from my recent expiriences... it's the guys that are playing all the games. This girl's not into playing the games... and it sucks to meet a guy that pretends like he doesnt either. Be who you are and stay true to that.
So I'll write about southern men in another post, when I have something good to say about them. Maybe in the mean time, I'll find one who still has some cojones.
till next time - here's to hoping your dates aren't yellow-bellied, castrated cowards like mine.
"Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man." [Erica Jong]
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